Picture this: it’s 6pm, you’re popping by Costa for a quick coffee when all of sudden, tragedy strikes! You bump into that guy from Tuesday night and manage to spill his Caramel Latte all over his chino-covered crotch.
We all love having a Costa on campus. But somehow our tiny caff has infinitely more potential for awkwardness than your average Costa establishment. These are some awkward moments that have happened to us all…
1. Someone else takes your panini. You’ve been waiting ages for it. You really, really want to say something but you are too filled with indignant rage and a long standing commitment to English etiquette to do anything about it. Aaaah!
2. The awkward doors. Someone leaves the door open and it’s FREEZING. Or it’s closed, and you keep getting jostled by people attempting to get in and out as you stand awkwardly waiting for your coffee. You can’t win.
3. Accidentally stepping in front of a server. You nearly cause them to drop a tray of coffee, everyone looks. You apologise profusely, but inside, you’re just like ‘It’s not my fault that there is literally no space for more than two people to stand in here’.
4. Someone orders a small coffee. Just why?
5. Strange names for coffee. You realise that you don’t know what half the things listed on the board actually are and end up ordering something that tastes a bit like coffee if it was marinaded in a puddle and drizzled with molten wax.
6. There are no seats free. Except for outside. In the rain. Yeah, no.
7. The queue. There is always a queue, often it goes out through the door and you have to awkwardly hold the door open as you wait. I don’t care how very British we are – there is only so much standing in a line that one can take!
Alan Huffen-Puffenbookmark me