If you’re the kind of person who likes to spend endless amounts of time discussing matters of little to no importance, you’ll have been on a society committee at some point.
One of the very worst parts of being on a committee is the meetings. Oh, the meetings. Passive aggression never had such a platform and let’s not even get into what happens when voting is involved.
Here we list reasons why committee meetings are just the worst things ever…
1. Arranging the damn things. Doodle polls are great and all but only when people ACTUALLY FILL THEM IN. And then, what are you supposed to do when there is literally no time anyone can meet? Have a meeting at, like, 9 a.m.? Oh the travesty!
2. Someone is always late. And it’s usually you. You think they’ll understand but there’s an undercurrent of resentment that you can feel radiating from every, “Oh no, no. It’s fine. We’ve only been here for five minutes…”
3. The time split between ‘things that actually matter’ and ‘meaningless bluster’ is about 80/20. You would put up with your social sec’s endless need to pontificate if it didn’t mean listening to 20 minutes self-righteous ranting on why brownies really should not be included in the bake sale.
4. The answer to “Has anyone booked the [DJ/venue/seven dancing ponies?] is always no. The likelihood that people have actually gone ahead and done what they said they would last committee meeting is pretty much zilch. Unless you happen to be in a committee where things actually get done. In which case, it’s even more annoying when it turns out you’re the lazy one.
5. The general lack of snacks. On TV and apparently in much of the professional world, meetings mean tea, coffee and the possibility of pastries. At university, everyone is far too skint/in a hurry to bother with putting on a spread. If you’re lucky, it’s someone’s birthday or you’re in a committee with one of those beautiful people who “just love to bake!”. But mostly it’s a few dried apricots and a stolen swig of someone’s lukewarm water.
6. Anyone on a power trip. Facing down someone is hard enough in any situation but facing down someone in a committee meeting is downright dangerous. Things can easily spiral out of control until you find yourself in a shouting match with your president over whether or not the stash should be orange or magenta (obviously magenta)
7. Accidentally ending up in the meeting of a committee that’s not your own. If there’s one thing worse than sitting through your own committee meeting, it’s having the misfortune to be around someone else’s. Trapped in the Kitchen Café or, for more relaxed societies, The Ram, you sit frozen with anything from extreme social awkwardness to morbid fascination listening to the inner workings of another committee. Expect unfathomable in jokes, “hilarious” digressions and the excitement level of a badly attended wake.
Alan Huffen-Puffen and Ringo Stapleebookmark me