Home Global Football Premier League Predictions: Bugler vs Sam Buxey

Premier League Predictions: Bugler vs Sam Buxey

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After a low-key 4-4 draw with Harrison Jones last week, Bugler tries his hand at a bit of #intermediacollab this week, taking on Sam Buxey of Xpression Sport fame. There’s only five games, but the quality of predictions is as high as ever.

West Brom- Man United

Football player/ wet lettuce Chris Smalling. Photo: fhrm.co.uk
Football player/ wet lettuce Chris Smalling. Photo: fhrm.co.uk

Sam: 2-1

David vs Goliath here at the Hawthorns – as the underdogs Manchester United look to cement their fight for sixth place against the Baggies. David Moyes will be hoping to build on only losing by two goals in Greece last time out, and will look to go one better by managing to get a goal. But with the dynamic partnership of Victor Anichebe and Saido Berhaino up against the wet lettuces that are Chris Smalling and Rio Ferdinand, expect David Moyes to break another record, and give Pepe Mel his first win in charge. (Alarmingly, I am a Manchester United fan).

Matt: 1-1

Crisis. For both clubs the word is lingering about, flitting about in the shadows and occasionally rearing its ugly head in the form of a thank you letter to fans or emergency player talks. Pepe Mel has done the distinguished job of making his team worse than during Keith Downing’s caretaker period, while Moyes is just Moyes. Expect crossing into the box.

Cardiff- Fulham

Sam: 0-1

The defence of both Cardiff and Fulham is as leaky as a large spring onion, and ultimately I expect both these teams to go down at the moment. The decision to sack Mackay now seems ill advised by Vincent Tan, as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has failed to bring any sort of spark to the Welsh capital. Similarly, Penfold from Danger Mouse (Or Felix Magath) as he is better known, got off to an awful start as Chelsea’s Andre Schurrle was very much the thorn in his side. However, I am going to go for a 1-0 Fulham win here, sending Cardiff even further into the mire.

Matt: 1-2

Both teams are very bad, but at least they’re bad in a chaotic, interesting way, unlike the bland rubbishness of Aston Villa. Fulham’s £12 million splurge on Greek striker Konstantinos Mitroglou appears a strange one when he’s behind Darren Bent in the pecking order, while Cardiff provide a counter-argument to the theory that teams can dominate without playing a striker. To be honest, even predicting that they’ll get a goal feels a bit outlandish.

Crystal Palace- Southampton

Sam: 3-1

For me this is one of the toughest calls of the weekend, but I am going to go for a Palace win here. Sometimes, Southampton can be brilliant, but other times like last week they fail to turn their style into substance; in many ways they’re all mouth no trousers. Pulis has been excellent at home since taking charge, and whilst I think they might concede, I feel Jason Puncheon will come back to haunt his former employers, and land a punch-right-on Mr Pochettino’s nose for showing him the door.

Matt: 1-0

For most of 2014 Southampton have been floating about in purgatory, too far removed from the Heaven of European football and too morally superior for the Hell of relegation. It is lawfully written by the philosopher Sod that Jason Puncheon will come back to haunt his former employers with the winner, further highlighting Pochettino’s questionable decision to abandon any form of squad depth.

Norwich- Stoke

Sam: 1-1

A huge clash at Xpression FM Sport here, as Bate’s Norwich face Cartwright’s beloved Stoke. Sadly, I don’t think this is going to be a huge clash for the neutral; I expect Stoke to be organized and restrict Norwich to a singular goal. I think Stoke will fall behind, but ultimately make sure the Canaries will be going potty by bringing home a point from Carrow Road.

Matt: 3-1

Chris Hughton doesn’t believe in small games, or even average-sized ones. Norwich will probably stay up this season due to their uncanny ability to conjure a magic three points whenever they really need it, before settling into another six game winless run. Like a red wine stain on your best white shirt, they just won’t go away.

Chelsea- Tottenham

Sam: 3-0

These are exactly the sort of games that Mr Mourinho loves; ones where he can truly embarras  an opponent. Tottenham have leaked goals in games against the top teams this season, and expect a similar feat to occur whilst Chelsea boast the attacking brilliance of Hazard, Oscar and Torres (kidding on that last one). But seriously, Sherwood does not have a clue, and this will be a comfortable win for the Blues, if you’re lucky Spurs will probably get a red card as well.

Matt: 2-2

Tim Sherwood’s team selections are always a bit of a mystery. Christian Eriksen is by far their most creative player, yet Tim reckons he’ll have more of an impact with a cheeky 13 minute cameo appearance. For most of the season Soldado has looked as inspiring as his greased back hair, but perhaps last week’s goal will inspire a late equaliser at the Bridge.

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