The Ten Most Punchable Faces in Sport

The Ten Most Punchable Faces in Sport

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Online Sport Editors Jamie Klein and Matt Bugler bid farewell to Exeposé Sport with a tongue-in-cheek run-down of their top 10 most punchable faces in the world of sport:

10) Jim Furyk

Photo: golfweek.com
Thin on nose, thick on lips. Photo: golfweek.com

Furyk is one of those golfers who has seemingly been on the scene almost since time began, but has very little to show for over 20 years on the tour. But it’s the fact he bears more than a passing resemblance to the eminently punchable Peter Capaldi that warrants the American a good smack square in the centre of his weathered mug.

9) Mitchell Johnson

Photo: zimbio.com
You can’t eat your own hand, Mitchell. You can punch yourself though. Photo: zimbio.com

Facial hair tends to enhance the punchability of most people, but it’s especially the case when the facial hair in question is a pair of rather uneven, ill-suited handlebars. A good thwacking for Johnson is surely the only way to make amends for the national heartbreak of the Ashes.

8) Pepe

Pepe is no stranger to a bust-up, and would probably welcome a punch for the sheer adrenaline. Photo: scaryfootball.com
Pepe is no stranger to a bust-up, and would probably welcome a punch for the sheer adrenaline. Photo: scaryfootball.com

 

Pepe may have tried growing his hair to distract from his eminently punchable face, but it’s fooling no-one. A veteran of the disgraceful foul, his menacing eyebrows can only be sorted out with a quick right-hander.

7) Bradley Wiggins

Photo: leblow.co.uk
This artsy still captures perfectly the moment of pre-punch. Photo: leblow.co.uk

Perhaps a slightly controversial choice, the winning combo of sideburns, tattoos and self-important expression propel him onto this hall of fame. Mods died out in the 80s, Bradley. Maybe a punch will help remind you.

6) Milos Raonic

Photo: blog.oregonlive.com
We’ll allow Milos to put his tongue away before punching him. Wouldn’t want any mess. Photo: blog.oregonlive.com

Raonic is building a career out of serving balls fast and winning lots of tiebreaks. Resembling a pig that has been put through a stretching rack, his flared nostrils are just begging for a hefty wallop.

5) Pastor Maldonado

Photo: racingfanatic.net
This man radiates evil like a Venezuelan bond villain. Photo: racingfanatic.net

Maldonado has made himself few friends in the F1 paddock owing to his habit of hitting other cars on circuit with alarming regularity, and a motley combination of a balding, slightly spotty head and ominous brow must make it hard for his fellow drivers to resist returning the favour off the track.

4) Luis Suárez

Photo: bbc.co.uk
Keep moving your hand in the right direction, Luis. Photo: bbc.co.uk

The easiest choice on the list. It’s not Suárez’s fault that his mother mated with a rodent for his birth, but it is his fault that he’s a scummy, diving cheat. Although his resting face is fairly punchable, it is when his face contorts in anger or delight that my fist really clenches up.

3) Chris Ashton

ashton
Ashton’s shininess is another factor in the punchability scale. Photo: mirror.co.uk

Manu Tuilagi may have got there already, but this doesn’t mean Ashton can’t be listed for Exeposé Sport’s most punchables. His stupid swan dives are a thing of the past, leaving Ashton scrapping about in club rugby waiting for his next hit.

2) Sebastian Vettel

Photo: guardian.com
Mein Gott, that finger. Photo: guardian.com

Vettel is living proof that being backed by a multi-national corporation for your entire career to the tune of millions of dollars – and then being its undoubted number one driver – breeds a certain degree of smugness. And then there’s that index finger, which merely adds to the German’s already potent veneer of punchability.

1) Kevin Nolan

Photo: mirror.co.uk
This man is everything wrong with football. Photo: mirror.co.uk

A dirty, scrappy player at the best of times, it is when he finds the net that his true punchable qualities shine through. A chicken dance may be mildly amusing on your six year old son, but on 31 year-old Nolan he’s asking for a punch for every flap of those non-existent wings.

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