Were you left staring at a measly pile of mediocre gifts this Christmas? In that case, Exeposé Games and Tech can happily inform you that it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse. From infuriating feline interpretations of an iconic gaming plumber to a handheld guitar attachment/monstrosity, Exeposé Screen Editor Josh Mines lists the games you were lucky to avoid this year:
Horrible collision detection, ludicrous physics and questionable grammar; there’s nothing good to say about this game. A bizarre third person racer, the game isn’t just broken, it’s unfinished to the point that it’s unplayable. However flawed Big Rigs is though, there’s still something endearing about the “you’re winner!” message that flashes up if you put up with the game long enough to actually finish a race.
It’s safe to say that Big Rigs falls into the ‘so bad its good category’. This Guitar Hero spinoff for the DS, however, is just plain bad. The game required a ‘guitar grip’ to play—a tacky mini fret board that was a total pain in the wrist. Besides the savage bouts of hand cramp you get using this infernal contraption, the gameplay is so flaky it made me want to throw my DS to the ground in a Noel Gallagher-esque tantrum. Plus, the soundtrack was closer to something you’d find in your Dad’s record collection than what you’d expect from a Guitar Hero game.
Half the reason I hate this game is because I was shit at it, but there’s still a lot to be abhorred even for a more skilful gamer. For one, the tutorial tells you barely anything about how the game’s mechanics work, so it’s up to you to figure everything out. Plus, it’s just plain boring; the only positive was being able to send down giant robots to destroy the shitty city that even after hours of careful town planning, never seemed to progress.
Total bullshit. That’s what this game is. It follows the usual platform format – except EVERYTHING can kill you in one hit and half the obstacles aren’t even visible until you’ve actually stepped on them. Oh, and there’s virtually no checkpoints. The only way to beat this bastard is to repeat the levels over and over again until you have a photographic memory of every possible danger, but most players will probably break their keyboard on the nearest hard object before they get anywhere close to actually finishing this hell-spawn of a game.
Need I say more? Despite my high score of 127, I still hated every minute I played of this game. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon than ever play this game again.
What are the worst games you have ever played? Would any of Josh’s games make your list? Let us know in the comments below, or by email at email@example.com. For more on everything else games and tech, check us out on Facebook and Twitter.bookmark me