Screen Editor Ciaran Willis gives us his take on the upcoming Sabbatical elections and the dreaded – or not so dreaded R.O.N (
So you’ve cast your eye over all the candidates and none of them take
your fancy. None of them stand out. They’re all equally bad or good. And anyway you’re hungover. You’re perusing
the paper in your pyjamas. You’ve forgotten what a Sabb is. Perhaps as a hungover idealist with a banging headache these students don’t chime with your lofty notions of student politics. That’s alright.
Don’t despair: there’s another option, a knight in shining armour. Let me introduce:
Who is Ron? I hear you clamouring.
Well: some say he’s so chilled out he was born in an ice cream van. Some say his mother was his
father and his father is Arnold Schwarzenegger (pending a paternity test). All I know is that if you pick him he’s going to re-open those nominations. And he’s going to do it with force.
Should you go for Ron? Let’s weigh up the Pros and Rons. On the Ron hand, Ron could be seen as a protest
vote – a vote for apathy or indifference, for Russell Brand’s sort of apolitical political ethos. (Russell isn’t
running, of course. We don’t want the university to be a socialist sex parlour. And anyway he couldn’t
run in jeans that tight).
Perhaps you are disillusioned. That’s fine. You want change and you have a right to. You wanted a puppy room but all you got were two middle-aged muts. You’re a student radical and want to exercise your disdain; all you ever wanted was a room like the one in the Andrex toilet roll advert.
But perhaps – perhaps it’s better to make a well informed decision about the issues that will affect you – and the University – in the coming years. The faces and voices who will be your representatives. But if not Ron’s pretty
chilled about the whole thing. As the sixties girl-group The Crystals said: “Da doo Ron Ron, Da doo Ron Ron.”
Ciaran Willis, Screen Editorbookmark me