As it heads into its fourth season, Game of Thrones remains the best neo-medieval, fantasy drama on TV. With dragons, dungeons and a whole lot of dark magic, its epic twists and turns have left its viewers gripped.
No matter whose side you are on, everyone’s desperate to find out who will win the game of thrones.
Here in Exeter, we all know that only one other battle is comparable to this: the battle of the halls.
The question is: which halls are which houses?
Holland Hall = House Lannister
Unofficial motto: A Lannister always pays his debts
Let’s face it – Holland Hall was always going to be Lannister. Firstly, they are the only halls that are likely to actually have an Iron Throne. Secondly, with their vista over the surrounding hills, it’s as if they are already surveying their dominion. Their ‘roars’ may be a little intimidating but don’t forget – for every obnoxious Joffrey, there’s a Tyrion not far behind.
(P.S. – we are not suggesting that residents of Holland Hall are in any way engaged in incest)
Birks Grange = House Baratheon
It is a well known fact that all Birks residents are in a constant state of near-rage as a result of Cardiac Hill. Nevertheless, with their relatively central location, bulging calves and own shop, they wield a large amount of power on the Exeter Halls scene. Much like the ruling (for the time being) House Baratheon, Birks is sprawling and confident in its own power. However, their enviable position is always in jeopardy as all Birks residents can be felled by the most minor of lower-leg injuries.
Lafrowda = House Stark
(this was written under the duress of a Lafrowda resident)
The Starks are everyone’s favourite. Now this is debatable when applied to Lafrowda, but there is no denying the plucky spirit of both those living Old Lafrowda, with its bare brickwork and gloomy lighting, and those living in New Lafrowda, with its poorly insulated walls and drunken Lemmy passers-by. There is no need to warn these guys that winter is coming – for them it is already here, as they face the icy wrath of those living farther out on-campus and wield their own cool rage on anyone who tries to interact with them.
This last season saw the Starks decimated in the infamous Red Wedding; whether it will be a rat infestation or a discovery of asbestos, time will only tell if Lafrowda will succumb to the same fate.
Mardon Hall = House Tyrell
House motto: Growing Strong
Situated by the leafy surroundings of Reed Hall’s landscaped gardens, Mardon Hall is practically a replica of Highgarden. The Tyrells are known for being able to surreptitiously insert themselves into positions of power and influence and Mardonites are much the same; whenever something big is going on on-campus, you can bet a Mardon resident is somewhere to be found. Though Mardon may not command the same size army as the Tyrell’s are able to, their closeness as a hall makes them a formidable opponent.
Moberly House = House Greyjoy
Poor Moberly, always so maligned. Much like the Greyjoys, Moberly House is forever coming second in choice and influence to its more dominant neighbours. The bleak and barren Iron Islands that the Greyjoys call home are sadly reminiscent of the chilly, uncarpeted rooms of Moberly. This House also worships the Drowned God and with 101 Moberly residents to every shower, we can safely assume they do too. However, this challenging environment means these guys are made of sturdier stuff that you might suppose.
Duryard = Targaryen
We are sure that Duryard residents are lovely but we’re not sure if we’ve ever met any. Being the halls furthest out, we can only imagine that their days consist of attempting, and potentially failing, to reach campus. In spite of their relative anonymity on campus, they must have fire in their blood to make the trek to lectures every day. Duryard was also the halls of Exeter’s most magical alumna, J. K. Rowling who interestingly included dragons in Harry Potter. We can thus only conclude that Duryard is also similar to the Targaryens because they have dragons there. Anyone want to volunteer to check that out for us?
Exeter Halls = The Night’s Watch
Though technically not a House in the Game of Thrones universe, the residents of Penny C, Randy P and Lopes perform the sacred duty of defending students on campus from the outside world. Beyond their admittedly not very icy walls lies Pennsylvania Road with all its real-world horrors. While these guys happily aren’t signed up to their halls for life (and don’t have to be celibate either!), they apparently do make lifelong friends. So that counts for something.
James Owen Court = Wildings (Free Folk)
Oh JOC. Living on Sidwell Street with the Duke of York in the near vicinity, it is no wonder that these guys are wilder than most. James Owen also does not have a ‘halls committee’ replicating the Wildings’ lack of formal political structure. Our fave sassy Wilding Ygritte is fond of telling Jon Snow that he “knows nothing”; JOC residents delight in explaining the realities of living outside of campus to terrified fellow first years. Even if these guys have to endure the wilds of Sidwell Street and a twenty-five minute walk to campus, they do have the advantage of easy access to every shop imaginable. Not so wild now, eh?
Rowancroft = White Walkers
Rumour has it these guys can move faster than ever thanks to the new Guild shuttle bus. Shit’s got serious. With the bop in danger, a Lemmy invasion is looking all the more threatening. Lock up your babies, and grab those dragonglass swords to arm yourself, otherwise risk being lost in those icy-blue Lukie love eyes forever.
Olivia Luder, Online Editor, Meg Drewett, Editor and Kitty Howie, Lifestyle Editor
Additional reporting by Jon Jenner, Editor, Alex Carden, Features Editor and James Roberts, Features Editorbookmark me