Home Comment What is the bloody point of these elections?

What is the bloody point of these elections?


Will Kelleher wants to be left alone during elections week and really doesn’t care who wins.

Right, so the last rant went well by all accounts. The Ram toilets were finally supplied with doors within two weeks of my angry tirade. So now it’s time for round two. Fixing the University one issue at a time.

giphySomething’s coming ladies and gents. It’s bad. Time to batten down the hatches. Lock yourself in a quiet room away from the clutches of the ego-driven, CV enhancing, clinging on brigade and their posse of over enthusiastic friends. It’s time for the Guild Elections. God help us all.

Gone will be the days of feeling able to walk around campus with your head held high. Gone will be the safety. Gone are your normal commuting routes. It’ll all be gone. Here come the flash mobs, the badly edited videos, the onesies, the questionable slogans, the token gesture sweets and the monumental balls spouting from many, many mouths. This is an advanced warning. Prepare early. I’m giving you a week or so to get ready. It’s coming.

This time last year I was negative about the Guild Elections but wrote in this section that I will never actively express this in public for fear of being an “elections scrooge”. Now, twelve months on I am loud and proud. What is the bloody point of these elections?  Honestly, feel free to vote. This is not an article asking you not to vote. And do support your friends. They’ll like you if you do. But let’s all realise that this only matters to the eight people who will eventually get elected.

In short, this is a popularity contest of the highest order. Policies do not matter. Does the average student remember any policies from last year? In fact, does the average student know who the current Sabbs are? I feel relatively engaged at the University and I can’t name at least two of them, let alone the roles they do. Apart from the AU President who actually runs much of Sport at Exeter rather than just being a figurehead, no matter who gets voted in your day-to-day experience will not change much at all. It just doesn’t matter to most of us. And that’s seen in the turnout figures. Only 34 per cent of the student population voted last year. That’s ridiculous.

The buzzwords. The bloody buzzwords are here too. ‘Enterprise’, ‘Dynamism’, ‘Innovation’. If you’re told any of these in the coming week then ask the person in question for a definition on the spot. What does this corporate twaddle talk even mean? And how do we know if we are enterprising or dynamic?!

I’m sure the Sabbs work hard and good luck to those running, hopefully in a year’s time your CV will look exciting but please leave me alone in elections week. I really don’t care. Bring in the Carbon Rod system I say. You wouldn’t even have to pay it £17,000 a year!

Will Kelleher

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