Home Arts & Lit Features Valentine’s survival 101: The Literary Edition

Valentine’s survival 101: The Literary Edition

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What’s in a name? Or perhaps more aptly, what’s in a functional love life? Books is here, with a novel twist, to give the 411 for surviving this romance season unscathed…

 

[divider]Be weary of Great Expectations[/divider]

The midsummer night’s dream…

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photo credit: movie-giph.com
photo credit: telegraph.com

The real answer to “wherefore art thou Romeo?” is quite devastating… on a stage.

 The tragic truth is, no Leo waits for us behind a fish tank. He’d rather spend his bearded life with a host of supermodels half his age.

In the words of Calaban “I cried to dream again”

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[divider]Listen to the stars[/divider]

photo credit: tumblr.com
photo credit: tumblr.com

Bad move – the stars don’t lie. Now we don’t mean the  Exeposé horoscopes – they are a bit more open to interpretation… We are referring to the stars of fate. Try to go against them, and things generally don’t turn out so well…

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[divider]“When you assume…”[/divider]

Oscar Wilde makes a very wise point; when it comes to love, we can have a tendency to go a little crackers. However, please don’t jump the gun – or, in Juliet’s case, put it to your head. Again, it won’t end well…

photo credit: express.co.uk

Romeo and Juliet are a brilliant case in point of what not to do when you’re in love. Take note.

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[divider]Being single is okay, more than okay[/divider]

Despairing in your solitary state is not healthy. It’s only one small step between Bridget Jones

Photo credit: tumblr.com

…. and Dickens’ Miss Havisham.

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photo credit: Daily Telegraph

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[divider]Scarlett Lettered[/divider]

Now words of wisdom against those people. The ones who put on the persona of a “little fool”, as Daisy Buchanan describes. Don’t fall for it…

photo credit: allure.com
photo credit: tumblr.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not even the removal of a t-shirt guarantees  romantic success.

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Unless the shirt comes in 50 shades… seriously though, flip flops and vest tops are about 4 months premature.

It also helps to acknowledge when the love of your life comes with a handbag(gage) of Wilde proportions.

photo credit: tumblr.com

 Crazy Exes, including very mad (but much very living) wives, are exe-tremely undesirable.

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[divider]My precious[/divider]

On the question of crazy, beware of these people. There’s enthusiastic… and there’s just plain obsessive.

photo credit: buzzfeed.com
photo credit: buzzfeed.com
photo credit: movie-giph.com
photo credit: movie-giph.com
photo credit: tumblr.com

Another top tip – don’t accept unsolicited refreshments. In the muggle world, love potion = alcohol.

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[divider]How to avoid doing a Ron[/divider]

1. Wear something half-decent.

photo credit: buzzfeed.com

2. Avoid insulting people

photo credit: tumblr.com
photo credit: tumblr.com

“he told the examiner about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he was describing the examiner’s reflection.”

3. Never wave. Ever.

photo credit: giphy.com

 

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