As technology has continued to develop and completely reform the way we approach social interaction, it seems only natural that at some point we would use this technology in order to change the dynamic of our sexual relationships. Take Skype, for instance. Although no hard and fast survey has been completed to indicate exactly how many people are partaking of Skype sexy time, we know that Skype has over 40 million users, and that typing “Skype Sex” into Google yields 78,000 results. As a practiced participant of many a heated Skype conversation, I thought I’d weigh in with some of my personal experiences of why, for me at least, technology can aid some of the most creative forms of sexual expression.
First off, there are loads of situations where I think relationships need to rely on technology to some extent. When I first moved to Exeter it caused a gap of 200 miles between my then boyfriend and I, so we had to get a little more innovative with our intimacy, and Skype played a crucial role. In fact it gave us a new thrill, as we knew all we had was Skype until we saw each other again. Having a kind of half dimension of being with each other really brought a whole new meaning to the whole “absence makes the heart grow fonder” thing. In fact, I think my flatmates would concur that the absence between us possibly made us grow a little too fond…
Skype sex is also great as a way to venture into something new and is a huge confidence boost (because you’ll be able to see exactly what you look like on camera), but it’s mostly just really, really fun. My first experience of having Skype sex was possibly 20 times more sexy than actually being there in the room with the guy would have been. Everything was under my control, so I didn’t have to worry about any embarrassing, awkward mishaps. It was like we were making personalised porn for each other. That may sound a little strange, but believe me, when you know what lingerie looks best on camera, how to bend so your receiver can see you in all your glory, and how to use the lighting to create your perfect shape, there’s something awfully gratifying about watching your partner’s reaction to everything you’ve put into your little performance.
Of course there are drawbacks. I don’t know what position is more compromising: to be caught in bed with an actual human being, or to be caught, naked, and covered in Baileys- because the dude you’re Skyping has a weird alcohol fetish – facing a laptop screen? I can testify for the latter and say that it is mortifying; but aside from potentially being caught in the act, there are some serious possibilities to consider. Just as with sexting, it is completely possible that somebody could screenshot and spread your private show across the internet, or use a recording application to capture that same moment, but that shouldn’t be any reason not to use Skype or any other form of technology as a tool of sexual expression.
Be safe, and trust whomever you’re engaging with in an activity that can have a digital footprint like this one. But mostly, enjoy it. You’re the actor, producer and director of this particular show.
Night Flowering Jasmine