Josh Mines, Deputy Editor, gives us his run-down of what says ‘dope’ and what screams ‘douchebag’ at festivals….
Festivals can be a great place to show off your edgy choice of clothing, but the line between looking summer chic and fashion failure is remarkably thin. Here are five tips to help you make the right call this summer, whether you’re boogying at Bestival, rocking’ at Reading or galloping at Glasto.
These fashion monstrosities aren’t just impractical, they look ridiculous as well. Not only will you be constantly tripping over your tacky sandals, but if it rains you’re likely to develop a serious case of festival trench foot, which is a look even Kate Moss would struggle to pull off. When wellies turn out to be a better choice of festival footwear, it really speaks wonders about how crappy your pair of Primark flip-flops are.
2. Bucket hats
You’re not a member of Cypress Hill and you’re not Hunter S Thompson. It’s the headgear of a public school twat trying oh so desperately hard to be ghetto. All wearing a bucket hat does is make you look like that guy who, ‘just loves techno-trance-house’, and no one wants to be that guy (trust me).
3. Face paint
OK, you were drunk and your mate simply had to cover your face in garish glittery paint. But it’s a look pretty much only worn by fourteen-year-old girls excited to see Sam Smith at V Festival. About as edgy as a circle. And as for washing that shit off your face in a crowded festival shower room; good luck mate, it’s not going to happen.
4. Festival wristband fever
Having a wrist full of festival bands isn’t cool; it’s unsanitary. I mean, imagine the amount of sweat and food that will have been picked up by thatching of the course of a summer? In the future, maybe stick to talking to people about your festivals rather than wearing these as a grimy badge of honour on your arm. It’s the tell-tale sign of a try-hard-festiva-goer.
5. Vest tops
Great on girls, shocking on guys. If you’re going for the ‘cheeky Nandos with the lads Napa 2015’ look, then please go right ahead. If you’re anyone who cares at all about looking distinctly reputable then I’d suggest dumping any hideous tank tops where they belong; at the bottom of those grim long drop toilets.
Josh Mines, Deputy Editor