Alas, you and the boo have (finally) decided to call it quits…
If it was long-term or the longest two weeks of your life, don’t stress, Exeposé is here with a list of the ten cheesiest break-up songs to help you get through this tough time.
So grab the voddy and a couple of non-judgemental friends to sing and dance along with, as we put you on the road to recovery through terribly amazing music (in the order in which you should listen).
Gloria Gaynor – ‘I Will Survive’
Kicking off this playlist is this 1978 classic that is still so relevant today. Oozing with cheese, this song will make you feel like a strong independent woman or man who WILL survive this break-up.
‘N Sync – ‘Bye Bye Bye’
If a young spaghetti-haired Justin Timberlake dancing as a puppet doesn’t make you feel better, then I’m not sure what will. Sing along with everything you wish you said to your ex, and if you’re feeling brave try those iconic dance routines.
P.S. Please do not try any of the car/train stunts at home.
All American Rejects – ‘Gives You Hell’
An anthem that says: “[blank] you” to your ex who you know is going to be lost without you. If you have enough friends feel free to stand in your ex’s front garden, like in the video, all chanting this song. Alternatively, you can just post the link as your Facebook status for some #shade.
Nicole Scherzinger – ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’
By this time, your ex may have tried calling you to get you back, but no worries, Scherzy is here to remind you how much of a douche they were and how much better off you are without them.
Destiny’s Child – ‘Survivor’
If Beyoncé, Kelly and Michelle can survive a shipwreck somewhere in the South Pacific, you know you can survive this break-up. Get out your camouflage bikinis and grab two friends to do the classic Destiny’s Child pose.
Taylor Swift – ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’
Of course there wasn’t going to be a break-up playlist without the Queen of Break-Ups herself. As if your sass levels aren’t high enough with the previous songs, T-Swizzle singing all sorts of truths is bound to help you get over your ex.
Beyoncé – ‘Irreplaceable’
Yes, I had to put the Queen in here more than once. Go grab a hairbrush, (or a wine bottle will suffice), and put on a performance.
Note: this is when you need your non-judgemental friends who won’t film you, but will scream “YAAAS” as you go for the sassy high notes and be your backing vocalists.
Kelly Clarkson – ‘Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)’
Stomp around and attempt these dance moves whilst simultaneously attempting to sing like Kelly (good luck, we’ve all tried). I advise also choosing a lyric to be the motto for life after your ex, (suggestion: “doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone”).
Michael Bublé – ‘It’s a Beautiful Day’
Whether you’re a Bublé fan or not, something about Michael’s soothing chocolate voice seems to cure any scars and dry away any tears whilst also giving us some crazy sass, et voilà! Ex who?
Beyoncé – ‘Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)’
Of course it’s in this list. It’s in every acceptable break-up playlist. Feel free to listen to this on repeat for the next week or so. I don’t even need to tell you what to do; you’ve rehearsed it enough times in front of the mirror.