There is an old Japanese belief that you have three faces: one you show to the world, one you show to your family and one that no one else ever sees. (Yes I did find this on Facebook, but that’s not the point!) We now live in a world where the vast majority of us have an identity that we use in our everyday life, and another idealised one that appears on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the rest of the popular social media platforms used today.
I know for a fact I am one of these people. On Twitter, I make a conscious effort to sound more witty and sarcastic than I would ever be in real life. I agonise over tweets, I draft and re-draft them and wait for the perfect time at which to send them in order to appear like I am naturally intelligent and hilariously funny all the time. On Instagram, I try out every single filter to see which one looks better and I tag all the fashion brands I wear to give off a certain ‘perfected’ image of what my life is like. The reality is that very little
of what I post on social media is a truly accurate representation of what my life is like, and the same is true for the vast majority of users today.
The concept of the ‘ideal self’ is already well documented – it is the version of yourself that you feel you should be. I’d argue that it is a natural and inevitable part of social media. We can choose what we put on there, and naturally we want to put up the most flattering versions of ourselves. What we have begun to see in recent years, however, is the immense toll this ‘ideal’ self can take on our mental health, particularly on younger people who have yet to develop a robust sense of identity and individuality.
We can choose what we put on social media, and naturally we want to put up the most flattering versions of ourselves
Just last week, an Australian teenager hit headlines around the world by re-captioning all her stunning, perfect, polished Instagram photos with honest statements. Essena O’Neill decided that having over half a million followers wasn’t worth the strain of trying to keep up appearances of having a ‘perfect’ life. She was reportedly being paid around £10,000 per post by marketing teams to promote their brands, but now she is taking a stand against this “contrived perfection”. One shot of her in a bikini was re-captioned with: “and yet another photo taken purely to promote my 16 year old body. This was my whole identity. That was so limiting. Made me incredibly insecure. You have no idea.”
It’s not a new idea that these images of perfection are damaging to us, our self-esteem and our relationships, but it is very rare that a supposedly “perfect” person talks about it so honestly and openly. O’Neill has hopefully made a lot of people question their perceptions of perfection, but social media is still a dangerous world. You only have to log onto Yik Yak late at night to see several posts about people struggling with their lives. Actually, the anonymity of Yik Yak has proved to be very beneficial for them because there is less judgment and more openness when users are anonymous. Platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are the exact opposite. They’re so dependent on defining our identity that the compulsion to present a perfect version of ourselves is overwhelming, but dangerous. Failure to meet this ‘ideal’ standard of ourselves can lead to immense anxiety and depression. Aspiring to be something better than what we are is one thing but doing so at the expense of our well-being just so we can gain followers is a very real danger that we are all teetering on the edge of every time we post something on social media.
As with everything, balance is necessary. An awareness of the problem can help us avoid falling into the trap of perfection. Posting a beautifully edited selfie is a great confidence booster, but don’t forget that your friends and family will also equally love seeing a photo of your goofy smile and messy hair. It takes a lot of confidence to look silly, but it’ll win you a lot more likes in the long run.
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