The widespread negative attitude towards sex work amongst students, especially young women, is one I find utterly baffling. I find myself having this conversation over and over again, and it never fails to surprise me how a generation, which is widely known for being more liberal and forward-thinking than our predecessors, can be so narrow-minded on this topic. Funnily enough, it’s not the guys who are shaming the girls this time. I’ve always defended strippers and other sex workers, and it’s never long before the morality police come crawling out the woodwork, usually in the form of female acquaintances.
I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve heard sex work put down. As someone who absolutely loves pole dancing, for all aspects of the activity – dance, fitness and art – I find myself not only defending myself to those who’d dismiss me as ‘slutty’ for taking part, but also correcting other practitioners who try to bring respectability to pole by denigrating sex workers. You’ve heard it, I’m sure. “It’s fitness, not stripping! It’s nothing to do with dancing in clubs.” Bull. Pole dancing as a mainstream fitness activity would not be as popular as it is today if it weren’t for its popularisation in strip clubs, regardless of its origins in Chinese Pole and the Indian sport of Mallakhamb.
“It’s fitness, not stripping! It’s nothing to do with dancing in clubs.” Bull.
Now, if I had the organisational skills required to be a stripper, you can be damn sure I wouldn’t be working shifts at the local pub on the weekends. Think about it – dancing until the early hours and then attending a full day of lectures? I struggle enough to get up for my 8.30am lectures as it is. No thanks! But the point I’m trying to make is, nobody has any right to judge someone who chooses to earn money that way.
You can’t bring yourself up by putting down others. It’s that, rather than partaking in sex work, which is anti-feminist, and frankly we don’t need division amongst the ranks. Working in retail or service jobs, it’s easy to feel demoralised and overworked. If you work behind a bar, it’s especially common to be subjected to sleazy comments from customers. So what’s the problem in choosing to make money using your body in a different way? The issue is, men aren’t having to do the same when it comes to a quick way of earning money. Even if they lost their jobs, most men wouldn’t think of resorting to selling their bodies.
In Exeposé’s most recent issue, it was revealed that over 400 Exeter students are “sugar babies” registered on Seeking Arrangement, a dating website where wealthy benefactors can find “mutually beneficial relationships”, with the stereotypical situation being an older, often married man, searching for a young female companion. Whilst a lot of these relationships wind up being at least partly sexual in nature, many aren’t, and are simply based on companionship. It’s not unusual for girls to earn around £2000 per month as an allowance from a sugar daddy, not counting shopping trips and expensive gifts.
capable women don’t need pity and are choosing to follow that path entirely of their own volition
I was pretty ticked off at the quote from a student who claimed she was “saddened” that so many girls had to resort to “desperate measures” to fund their education. Whilst positively intentioned, that was a pretty patronising thing to say, don’t you think? The vast majority of those working as “sugar babies” are intelligent and capable women who don’t need pity and are choosing to follow that path entirely of their own volition. And their motivations are clear. Wiping tables in a restaurant for 4 hours and earning £30 or going to dinner and getting £200… Hmm.
It hardly needs mentioning that there are many things about the sex industry which are inherently problematic. We live in a society which teaches women that their value lies in their looks and sexuality – we can’t separate ourselves from that fact, regardless of whether or not we find sex work acceptable. I’m well aware that some people would say that the reason I have such a supposedly liberal attitude to sex work is because I’ve been conditioned to measure my worth based on my sexual appeal. The commodification of the female body is an issue which needs to be addressed across society, not just the sex industry.
There are significant issues facing sex workers of all genders, such as possible detrimental impacts on future relationships, the high risk of rape for escorts and prostitutes, underage prostitution, and the possible social repercussions of being ‘outed’ to friends and family.
With the far-reaching medium of the internet available to us, students who choose to take part in sex work can do so relatively safely from the comfort of their own home. There’s no need for standing around on street corners when phone-sex operators earn £2 per minute, and a half-hour webcam session can rack up £150. I don’t really think that anybody could argue that the girls taking part in this work are losing their autonomy. Quite the opposite – you could do an hour of webcam shows and then go back to watching reruns of Game of Thrones, £300 richer without even leaving your room.
We shouldn’t view student sex workers as victims – they’re making a choice to make money in a non-conventional way, and we should respect that. Intersectional feminism is crucial for advancing the movement, and, as well as taking into consideration the issues facing people of all genders, ethnicities, abilities and ages, we need to welcome women and non-binary individuals from all backgrounds into feminism, and that must include sex workers.
Because you know what? Telling a woman what she can or can’t do with her body sounds a hell of a lot like misogyny to me.
