Have you ever looked at your group of perfectly tanned and toned Exeter pals and thought, we really should be on TV? With all the drama surrounding the status of Annabel and Hugh’s relationship and the fact that Monty now wants to be known as M Dot, you’re practically screaming out for your own reality show. Alas, MTV’s producers have yet to realise the goldmine that is Exeter University, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your own soap-worthy moments. Here is my list of the five most dramatic spots on campus, to ensure maximum exposure for you and your friends’ dramz.
The stairs just outside The Loft
These stairs are the ideal setting for a dramatic phone call. Sit there looking pensive and stare into the distance, as you call your housemate to ask if she are your last avocado. Bonus points for a heavy sigh and single tear gently rolling down your face.
Any basic bro knows that coffee shops are the only appropriate place to discuss last night’s antics. Grab your extortionately-priced hot drinks and sit outside in the freezing cold (with your Raybans on obvs) and tell the lads all about that drunken snog in Timepiece. Don’t forget to take a squad selfie for Instagram, with the caption ‘TP aftermath #hanging’.
The big round tables in the Law Library
King Arthur and his pals may have had the round table, but you’ve got the Law Library for all your important activities. Deliberately invite two people that you know actively dislike each other for a study date and watch the awkwardness unfold. As friend one goes to the toilet, tell friend two how you really didn’t want any drama. Make sure to perfect the art of ‘loud whispers’ for this one and pretend not to notice everyone staring at you. Remember, the first rule of being a BNOC is to never acknowledge it.
The balcony outside The Forum
The perfect spot to have your next argument with bae. You get to make sure your relationship issues are the centre of attention as all the students rocking up to campus look up at you admiringly, like you’re Queen Liz at her Jubilee. Make sure to take lots of dramatic pauses and gesticulate wildly as you argue over why they didn’t pay for your VK’s in Moz last night. Don’t forget to have the Made In Chelsea theme playing on your phone.
Steps outside Reed Hall
Picture the scene: you’ve spent the night posing for selfies in your ball gown, a glass of bubbly in hand. Just as you’ve perfected the duck face, you catch sight of bae in your camera, getting it on with that bitch from Mardon – your sworn nemesis. You go to confront him, but he plays dumb (he is a rugby lad), so you throw your champagne on his face and storm out. Your dress splayed over the white stone steps, you break out into uncontrollable sobs. If the place is good enough to host weddings, then it’s sure as hell good enough for your post-break up bawling.