Kathy Giddins

Discover Morocco with Maroc ‘N’ Roll

Three weeks in Morocco inclusive of all flights, accommodation and travel for only £545 – sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?

Well, that’s what I thought when I first saw the deal pop up on my Facebook feed. However, after a glance at the Overlanders website I was intrigued by this small family business which has been running tours around Europe and the Middle East in old school buses since the 60s. Maroc ‘N’ Roll is the original and possibly one of the most action packed trips they offer.

It seemed like an opportunity too good to miss.

I was intrigued by this small family business which has been running tours around Europe and the Middle East in old school buses since the 60s.

After meeting my fellow adventurers at the airport along with our guides and driver, our trip began in the windy city of Essaouira on Morocco’s west coast. Here we had a go at quad biking and horse riding which both involved taking in beautiful views of the beach and sand dunes. We also sampled a bit of the nightlife and had fun dancing and listening to live music on the rooftop terrace of Taros bar.

Next we travelled to the bustling and vibrant city of Marrakesh, where we haggled in the souks and enjoyed the delights of the main square, which came alive at night with drumming and snake charmers. A surprise thunderstorm also made our experience of the city more interesting, as in a matter of minutes the weather shifted from unbearable heat to torrential rain and we had to wade through the streets to get back to our hotel.

The next day we drove an hour into the Atlas mountains where we began our ascent of Mount Toubkal, which at 14,000ft is the highest mountain in North Africa. The trek took us through Berber villages and up into goat-populated hills. The first day we journeyed to base camp, and from there we rose at 4am the next day to continue on to the summit. I struggled a bit with altitude sickness, but when I made it to the top the sense of achievement was almost overwhelming and it all seemed worth it for the breathtaking views.

Once we’d scrambled down the mountain and were back in Marrakesh we decided to soothe our aching muscles by visiting a traditional Moroccan spa known as a Hammam. This involved getting naked in a steamy room, being lathered in oils, and enjoying a nice massage. It wasn’t until afterwards that we realised the boys’ experience had been less relaxing and more traumatising since they’d been offered massages of the happy ending variety!

We had one last night in Marrakesh and slept on the rooftop of our hotel, lulled to sleep by the humdrum of the traffic and the calls to prayer. The next day we drove a few hours east to Cascades d’Ouzoud; a stunning collection of waterfalls. Here we camped out under the stars and were treated to some delicious traditional couscous and tagine. For the more thrill-seeking amongst us there was the option to jump off the waterfalls but I just preferred swimming in the shallows and chilling with a good book.

After a couple of days we were on the move again and this time we drove to Ait Benhaddou, also known as the Hollywood of Morocco. Here we had a hotel in the desert with a pool exclusively to ourselves which added to the feeling of peaceful isolation. From here we were able to explore some of the set of Gladiator and see where parts of Game Of Thrones had been filmed.

We had one last night in Marrakesh and slept on the rooftop of our hotel, lulled to sleep by the humdrum of the traffic and the calls to prayer.

Next we journeyed to Todra Gorge and continued on to Merzouga, where for only 300dh (£25) we were able to go on a camel trek into the Sahara which included our evening meal. Like Lawrence of Arabia we rode into the desert astride our camels, wearing scarves around our faces to protect us from the wind and the sand. I was one of only a few of us who managed to get up at 4am the next day to see the sunrise over the dunes. It was definitely worth the early wake up call.

That same day we drove south, where we stopped to camp out overnight in a pine forest. The stark contrast in environment made me realise just how vast and varied Morocco is in terms of its landscapes. In the morning we fed some wild monkeys who weren’t scared to take fruit from our hands.

Our trip ended in the beautiful town of Chefchaouen, which is nestled in the Rif mountains and instantly recognisable by its blue and white buildings. From here we had a day trip to Paradise falls in Akchour, which is a collection of streams flanked by red rocks. This provided the perfect setting for us to all wind down and reflect after a couple of weeks of non-stop action.

I would definitely recommend Maroc ‘N’ Roll to anyone. If you want to fully experience the variety which Morocco has to offer, gain a local’s perspective and make some great friends then this is the trip for you.

Feminist Friday: A close shave

The first time I tried to shave my legs, I was about seven, so had no actual hair to shave off. As a result, all I did was cut myself and cause a literal bloodbath. Why did I try to use a razor? Well, it wasn’t because I was influenced by the smooth, shiny pins of celebrities. At that age the only magazine I read was Animals And You (which only featured furry friends) and it wasn’t because I wanted to be more feminine. I did it because it was my mum’s and I wanted to feel grown up.

Now shaving is a ritual which I don’t often think about. It’s become as routine as brushing my teeth – the only difference being that one is an act of vanity whereas the other is a necessity. I would never think ‘Oh no, people will see how unclean my teeth are if I don’t brush them’ in the same way that shaving really has no personal hygiene benefits. If you wash, hairy or not, you’ll be clean.

even at 22, I still haven’t quite managed the art of shaving.

So why is body hair a feminist issue? Well, since the dawn of time both men and women have had it. I’m sure even Adam and Eve were hairy (fig leaves hide nothing). Then as the patriarchal society developed, women were subjected to unfair beauty ideals. Renaissance painters depicted nude women without any body hair and having it came to be seen as something unfeminine and ghastly. In 1848 it was even supposed that the art critic John Ruskin failed to consummate his marriage to Effie Gray due to being so repulsed by her pubic hair. However, in a world permeated with unrealistic images of female beauty, be it in internet porn or lads mags, has much really changed?

Image: David Monniaux / Commons.wikimedia.org

When Sandro Botticelli painted The Birth of Venus, it expressed the feeling that women were meant to be pure, untainted goddesses, and this ideal still permeates shaving culture today. Take the Venus razor blade for example. It’s gone through ten different modifications since 2001 (from ‘original’ to ‘swirl’) and despite the fact that it is marketed at women with ‘on-the-go lives’ it still boasts of providing a ‘goddess-worthy shave’. This is somehow a contradiction in terms. How can women be expected to be ‘on-the-go’, busy and productive yet still take the time out of their busy lives to make themselves look like goddesses? What does a goddess even look like?

Probably not like a seven-year-old girl with a big cut in her leg.

And yet, even at 22, I still haven’t quite managed the art of shaving. This is largely due to the fact that I’m not very dexterous with a razor and my impatience to get the job done often leads to the shower resembling a scene from Psycho.

But, as a girl who grew up in the post feminist era the choice is mine. I could stop using the cheap Bic ones and invest in a Venus Swirl or I could just make a feminist statement and stop shaving altogether. I could embrace the fact that if left unattended, my legs become a little furry, or I could just chill out and not constantly question what I do to my legs.

With summer fast approaching I don’t think I’m the only one who is looking forward to sleek, smooth, hair-free legs. . . .

Shaving is a strange psychological thought process though. Sometimes I actively think ‘Well, I’m going to wear tights today so it doesn’t matter’, but even in those months when it’s too cold to have my ‘goddess-worthy’ legs on show I like to have that smooth, soft feeling. Especially when I rub both legs together like some sort of happy female cricket.

There’s been a recent trend towards dyeing underarm hair with bright colours. Countless celebs from Lady Gaga to Miley Cyrus have joined the fun and the hashtags #pithairdontcare and #freeyourpits have been all over social media like… well, like winter body hair. The idea is to push beyond the confines of our comfort zones and challenge perceptions of female beauty.

However, surely this just puts more unrealistic beauty ideals in place. Why can’t pit hair be cool without having to be dyed bright green? How long will it be before we start seeing girls dyeing their leg hair and #leghairdontcare or #diylegwarmers? Another side to the argument is also the fact that women of colour or girls with dark hair can’t actively partake in this trend since they’d have to bleach the hair before they dyed it. This would then be ironic since the whole debate is about women not having to go to arduous lengths in the name of self-maintenance. #Idratherbleachmysink.

With summer fast approaching I don’t think I’m the only one who is looking forward to sleek, smooth, hair-free legs which are free to receive all of that vitamin D. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad feminist. I just do what makes me happy and surely isn’t that what feminism’s all about?

Flock Rock: An Interview with Eagulls

How is the tour going? What was it like playing in the Fiddler’s Club in Bristol?

Fiddler’s Club was really good. We tried to play a bunch of shows where we were playing independent venues that aren’t really used as often as they should be and Fiddler’s was one on the list that we wanted to tick off. It went really well. It was a good gig.

Would you consider coming back to the Cavern in Exeter?

Yeah I think so, maybe. I enjoyed that venue as well. That was a good night.

You’re playing quite a few gigs across the pond on your tour (e.g. Rough Trade NYC 9th May). Do you find any difference between the atmosphere at a gig in the US compared with the ones you play in the UK?

I wouldn’t say that there’s a different atmosphere. I think most of our shows just seem to flow in quite the same way no matter what country we’re in really. We as a band don’t treat any country or any stage any differently.

In what ways do you think Ullages is different compared to your debut album Eagulls?

We had a lot more time to think about what we wanted to put out there this time so we wanted to display more texture and more thought. We played the first album over and over again and the more we played it the less we felt it was showing our capabilities so we wanted to push ourselves with this album and see what we could force out of ourselves and come up with to try and progress.

You recorded Ullages in a converted church. Was there any particular reason for that? Acoustics maybe?

Eagulls - Ullages LP — Eagulls – Ullages cover art

Yeah, well the acoustics in the room really helped out because we were able to put different microphones on either side of the large room so we could get natural hall-like reverbs. We know the people who own it and they found this church and just decided to build a studio in it. It does reflect on some of my lyrics about religion – that’s always been something I’ve delved into with lyrics.

Do you have a specific song-writing process?

We are a very collaborative band. I write all the lyrics and then it’s usually Goldy [guitarist Mark Goldsworthy] who will come up with the first riff, then we all sort of sit together with it and bash each others’ heads off the wall till we come up with something good.

“we wanted to push ourselves with this album and see what we could force out of ourselves”

How did your band name come about? Does it have anything to do with The Eagles or A Flock of Seagulls?

It doesn’t have anything to do with those. It’s a long story… but it’s a nonsensical word.

Eagulls, recording in old church — Eagulls, recording in a converted church

Your new album is influenced by The Cure and The Smiths and you’ve been described as a “Post-punk” band. How would you describe your sound?

I’d say we’re a contemporary rock band. We are influenced by post-punk bands but also anything past post-punk or anything before it. There’s a lot of influence that comes from all over really. There’s even influence influence from hip hop on this album but nobody would ever pick up on that.

In 2014 when you were on The Letterman Show, Bill Murray kissed bassist Tom’s bicep. If you could be kissed by any celebrity, who would it be… and what body part?

Wow… I don’t know if I can answer that. As a safe answer I’d get Prince to kiss me on the lips.

Finally, if you could collaborate with any artist (alive or dead) who would it be?

Alive, it would definitely be Brian Ferry and dead, David Bowie.

—-

Ask Auntie Kathy: Week 1

Mozzers Mystery Man

Dear Auntie Kathy,

Last term I met this amazing guy in Mozzers. Our eyes met across the dance floor, we shared our first kiss and talked and laughed the night away. From what he told me that night he seemed like the perfect guy: he’s sweet (he told me that he never normally gets with girls in clubs!), he’s athletic (on the rugby team) and he’s well-travelled (did a gap year)! I texted him the next day but term had already ended and he never replied. I’m scared that I’ll never see him again, what if he was the one?

Please help me,

Anon

Dear Anon,

If you really think he’s the one then I think you should definitely send him a text declaring your undying love. That’s what I usually do with guys I’ve just exchanged saliva with on a sweaty dancefloor. Try something along the lines of “Hey babe, I loved meeting you in Mosaic the other night and I think we could really tessellate. You are the one. You are my missing puzzle piece. Marry me. I want four children… and five cats.” If he doesn’t respond positively to that then fuck him (figuratively) and become a lesbian. Men are all scumbags anyway.

Auntie Kathy xox

Seminar Slacker

Dear Auntie Kathy,

There’s this girl in my seminar and we’re in a group to do a presentation together. There’s four people in the group altogether but it may as well be three because this girl never turns up to any group meetings! She ignores our messages but then when we see her in seminars she acts all nice as if it’s no big deal. I don’t get how she can do it! It’s so infuriating as we all get the same marks in the end but she’s done none of the work! What should I do?

All best,

Anon

Dear Anon,

This girl needs to get her act together so here’s how it’s going to play out. After your seminars you should follow her home, see where she lives and then post print-outs of your presentation slides through her letterbox or under her door. If she doesn’t get the message after a few days then up the ante and start sellotaping them to her windows and sticking them on her back until she can no longer ignore her responsibility. If passive aggressiveness fails then I would just start your presentation off by saying ‘Good morning everyone, before we begin I just wanted you to know that [insert name here] did fuck all for this’, and point at her for about one minute.

Auntie Kathy xox

Review: The Danish Girl

The Danish Girl is an adaptation of the 2009 novel by David Ebershoff which is based on of the life of Lili Elbe; one of the first known people to undergo gender reassignment surgery. Set in the mid 1920s, it charts the story of married couple Einar and Gerda Wegener who make a living as artists. One day, when Gerda’s female model is late, she asks her husband to put on some stockings and a dress which then awakens in him an inherent desire to be a woman.

With dashes of humour and heaps of emotion, The Danish Girl not only deals with an incredible story in a sophisticated and stylish way, but also offers visually delightful scenes as it flits between the galleries and streets of Copenhagen and Paris. Eddie Redmayne is brilliant in the role of Einar/Lili and despite having faced criticism from those who don’t think a cisgender man should play a trans woman, I think he pulls it off pretty well.

The fact that Redmayne has quite a feminine face definitely helps, but what is more important is the way in which he portrays Einar’s emotions as we see how a bit of cross-dressing develops into a real identity crisis.

Alicia Vikander also gives a heart wrenching performance as the remarkable yet conflicted Gerda. She loves Einar and wants him to be happy so therefore helps to bring Lili into existence but this, of course, means sacrificing her own needs and wants. The only part of the film I would criticise is the character of Hans (Matthias Schoenaerts), Einar’s friend and Gerda’s slight love interest. To me he is just a bit one dimensional and not really essential. Although, he does have one of the funniest lines in the film when he says to Einar ‘I’ve only known a handful of people in my life and you’ve been two of them.’

Nevertheless, the film is certainly topical. It seems that in the last year alone, issues affecting the transgender community have really come to the forefront, not least helped by the high profile transition of Caitlyn Jenner. However, despite this, the real issue is why are so many unwilling to accept transgender people when the first operation of this kind took place 70 years ago? It’s strange that it has taken this long to tell this story, but hopefully now the door will be open for more dialogues to take place. A film like this, concerning such a topic will no doubt be a welcome addition to the attention that the subject deserves. This will be futhered by Redmayne’s inevitable Oscar nomination and his recent Golden Globe win.

It takes a lot for a film to move me to tears and The Danish Girl did just that, whether it makes you laugh or cry I’d definitely recommend it.

I’m not an alcoholic but…

was probably borderline at one point.

The first time I got drunk I was 18 and all it took was two cans of Magners at a house party. It was quite a night really. In a short space of time I managed to offend MP Gerry Kelly’s daughter by telling her that Sinn Fein were all just IRA terrorists in suits and also have my first kiss with an abnormally tall Spanish boy. Before that I’d never really seen getting drunk as a prerequisite to having a good time. For my school friends and I, sneaking into a club and having a couple of WKDs was as wild as life got.

Then I went to university and once free from the shackles of parental judgement, alcohol became a way of life. Like a vast majority of students, I fell into a routine of drink.party.sleep.study.repeat. A sober night out was unheard of and Freshers’ Week should have been called ‘a week where you get as drunk as possible without dying’. It was all ‘top bants’ though, or so I thought at first. From Lambrini and red wine to Baileys and whiskey, there wasn’t much I couldn’t or wouldn’t drink; and when someone told me to ‘see it off’ or ‘down it fresher’, I didn’t think twice.

My nationality worked against me in all of this. People would either say ‘go on you‘re Irish you can handle it’ or would chide me for letting down my country when I seemed to be fading – which I of course saw as a personal challenge to drink more and conform to the stereotype. This was all well and good when I was in the confines of halls, but when we were out and about in the streets and clubs of Exeter, things got a bit more dangerous. I have some hilarious stories though. Like the time I was kicked out of Vaults and ended up sitting with a homeless woman and playing her tin whistle, or the time I was kicked out of Arena whilst dressed as a Kit-Kat because I couldn’t stand. (I suppose I was melting.) But there are other stories which aren’t so hilarious. Like the alcohol-fueled one night stands which I always regretted the morning after, or the times I ended up outside a club crying for no apparent reason.

people would either say ‘go on you’re Irish you can handle it’ or would chide me for letting down my country

Since I was about 16 I’ve had an ongoing battle with depression and anxiety, and naively when I moved to Exeter I thought I’d be leaving all of my past troubles behind. At times I wasn’t just drinking to have a good time or because everyone else was. I was drinking to get drunk, because I was down and I hated myself and momentarily blocking out the darkness with wine or whiskey seemed like an easy form of escapism. I was on anti-depressants too, which I really shouldn’t have been mixing with alcohol in the first place, but I tended to act impulsively and think of the consequences later. At the time I usually wouldn’t realise that I was being self-destructive. It would only be later, when I’d had time to reflect that I could see I was using alcohol as a coping mechanism.

In second year I was a bit more calm. I still got drunk but my mental health had greatly improved, which meant I didn’t feel the need to use alcohol as a crutch. I still drank more than I should on occasion, but for the most part I was pretty adept at having a good time whilst sober and even managed to give up alcohol for Lent.

Then I went on my year abroad and things took a bit of a downward turn again. My first few months in Italy were like Fresher’s all over again. The only difference was this time I was doing a work placement. For a good few months I lived a crazy lifestyle of partying and drinking cheap beer and spritz till 4am, before getting up at 6.30am to get the train to work. After a while this took its toll and my problems with anxiety began to rear their ugly head once again. Panic attacks became increasingly common and in the end I had to leave Italy early because I just couldn’t cope anymore. I barely wanted to leave the apartment and I couldn’t face going to work. I spent a month at home and started on some anti-anxiety medication which helped a lot, but I reproached myself for having not kept tabs on my drinking or my mental health.

Then in March I started a work placement in Paris which I really enjoyed. After a while though I began to feel quite alone. I was in a big city where I didn’t know anyone and I longed for the close group of friends I’d made in Italy. I started to go out to bars on my own in the hope of meeting people and also because sitting alone in a room full of people seemed less depressing to me than just sitting alone in a room by myself. But even though getting totally trashed on my own wasn’t my aim it still happened, and with disastrous consequences.

A few times I blacked out and woke up in bed having not remembered how I got home. It was a bit scary but the more it happened, the more I became desensitised to it and I began to accept it as the norm. I didn’t pause to consider that I could get myself into some serious trouble if I carried on like this. At this time I was living with a kind elderly woman called Liliane whose only house rule was that I didn’t bring anyone back to the apartment. Fair enough I said. Then one night I was out till late drinking in the bar of a nearby youth hostel which I frequented in the hope of meeting people my same age. One of the last things I remember is chatting to an American boy and ordering a bottle of wine.

The next morning I stumbled into the kitchen and was met with a stoney faced Liliane. “You had someone in your room last night,” she said. “Um, non. I don’t think so,” I replied, because although plausible I actually couldn’t remember. Liliane attested that she’d seem him leave in the early hours of the morning and since I’d broken her trust she requested that I swiftly find alternate accomodation. I’d never been so mortified in my life. The worst part was that she’d invited her friends over for lunch that day too so as I dragged my suitcase towards the door, shamefaced and repentant I was met with the steely glare of four other Parisian pensioners. I checked straight into the same hostel I’d been drinking in the night before and just so happened to be placed in the bunk above the American boy I’d spent the night with. This could have been potentially awkward but when I told him my tale of woe his response was: “Jeeze I feel like a shmuck.” He then promptly offered to buy me dinner. This time though I decided to lay off the wine.

I’d broken her trust and she requested that I swiftly find alternate accommodation

You’d think this would have been my wake up call but since then, even now I’m back in Exeter and in the crucial final year of my degree, I’ve still had a couple of black-out drunk nights. Thankfully I‘m in familiar surroundings and I only go out with friends here so nothing bad has happened, but I shouldn’t be complacent. I do worry that I’m an alcoholic sometimes but it’s not like I’ve ever felt that I needed to drink, it’s just that I’ve always struggled with knowing when to stop once I’ve started. My grandpa is an alcoholic, and seeing how alcohol has ruled and ultimately destroyed his life is motivation enough for me to not want to fall into the same trap.

Like a lot of people, my New Year’s resolution is to drink less. I’ve downloaded the Change 4 Life drink tracker to keep tabs on my alcohol intake, and I’ve also embarked on a healthy vegan lifestyle which I don’t want to counteract with alcohol abuse. When I go out now I tend to leave my card at home and only take out a limited amount of cash so I’m not tempted to keep drinking.

At university it can be difficult not to yield to peer pressure, but alcohol isn’t necessary to having a good time. Everyone is different so it’s always best to make choices based on what is right for you, but no night out is worth putting yourself at risk.

Review: Downton Abbey finale

It’s all over. After six series and 52 episodes including five Christmas specials, the much loved period drama Downton Abbey has bid its final farewell. For a series which had its fair share of turbulent relationships, murder, debauchery and deception not to mention major historical tragedies such as the sinking of the Titanic and the Great War, the final episode was frightfully jolly. It’s almost as if writer Julian Fellowes just wanted to give the viewers the happy ending they’d been waiting for and for once not kill off the best characters. Call me morbid, but I was sort of disappointed that no one died. Although I suppose that just proves that even when we think the Crawley family and their downstairs contingents are becoming predictable they surprise us once again and come up smelling of roses.

The grand finale which aired over two hours centered largely around ‘Poor old Edith’ who had always been the unluckiest of the Crawley sisters and a classic example of middle child syndrome. As someone who had been perpetually unlucky in love, it was heartwarming to see her married to man who didn’t ditch her at the altar or get killed by Nazis. Her finest hour though was definitely when years of resentment and hatred from living in the shadow of her nasty and smug sister Mary finally came to a head. I’m sure I’m not the only one who rose from the sofa and applauded when Edith momentarily forgot she was a Lady and in no uncertain terms told Mary what she really thought of her.

Credit: Downton Abbey Christmas Special 2015 — Image: Downton Abbey Christmas Special 2015

That wasn’t the only surprise of the episode though. Mrs Bates gave birth right in Lady Mary’s bedroom which was so shockingly modern that it nearly gave Carson a heart-attack (but it didn’t unfortunately) and Lady Mary effectively married a 2nd hand car salesman.

Downton Abbey proved that the period drama is still a popular genre and it’s success is not only due to exceptional characters and screenplay but the attention to historical detail. The flourishes of humour in Downton Abbey often arose from the characters’ reactions to new fangled technologies and the final episode was no different when Daisy failed to get to grips with a hairdryer.

Although everything was more or less neatly tied up I am desperately hoping that the rumours are true and that a film will be made of Downton Abbey. Until then though, we’ll just have to watch it all from the beginning again…If anyone needs me I’ll be sending my lady’s maid.

Have yourself a very Merry Cliffmas

Cliff Richard is undoubtedly the king of Christmas songs having managed to reach the number one spot three times over the festive period. In 2003 he even released his very own Christmas album, Cliff at Christmas, which reached number nine in the charts, selling 300,000 copies. He’s been around almost as long as Santa but following the release of his album 75 at 75 this year, Sir Cliff seems to show no signs of bowing out just yet. So, if you’re in need of a little inspiration for your Christmas playlist, here’s a run down of Cliff’s best Christmas hits:

Mistletoe and Wine (1988)

This was best selling single of 1988 and seems to capture the very essence of the Christmas spirit, transporting you to a scene with “logs on the fire and gifts on the tree.” The video however doesn’t recreate this cosy ambience but rather shows Cliff outside in the snow whilst giant toy soldiers march around him, he bangs a big gong and a mixed band of carol singers double up as awkward backing dancers. If you want to dance along to this just remember, it’s all in the arm movements.

Fun Fact: It was originally written for the musical Scraps which is an adaptation of Hans Christian Anderson’s The Little Match Girl.

Saviour’s Day (1990)

Not one for atheists, but a good tune to crack out if you’re despairing at the commercialisation of the so-called season of goodwill. It was Christmas number one in 1990, and is an all round good ballad with some nice flute solos. This time the video has some more awkward zombie-like backing singers (pilgrims?), except there’s about a hundred of them and they surround Cliff at the top of… well, a cliff.

Fun Fact: The video was filmed at the limestone arch of Durdle Door, the same setting used by Tears for Fears in their video for the single ‘Shout’.

The Millennium Prayer (1999)

Again, not one for the atheists. This song brought Cliff’s tally of Christmas number ones to three. It sets the words of the Our Father to the tune of Auld Lang Syne and was originally written for the Share Jesus International production, Hopes and Dreams. It has definitely been a source of controversy with Cliff’s own label EMI refusing to release it forcing him to go to Independent label Papillon records. Many radio stations also refused to play it.

Fun Fact: It was number one for the first three weeks of December but narrowly missed out on being Christmas number one to Westlife’s cover of Abba’s ‘I Have a Dream’.

Walking in the Air (2003)

Most people will be more familiar with the Aled Jones version, but Cliff pulls of a pretty impressive bluesy rock version of the track from The Snowman. Expect electric guitar riffs and drums.

Fun Fact: A dubstep remix of the song was recorded by independent musician Hereldeduke and has over 1 million views on YouTube.

Santa’s List (2003)

This original single was released as part the 2003 compilation album, but failed to bag Cliff another Christmas number one. It’s a nice enough little song but lacks the fun factor of ‘Mistletoe and Wine’, and it isn’t an epic ballad like ‘Saviour’s Day’. Instead it falls somewhere in between with the simple message in the chorus: “the only wish on Santa’s list is peace on this earth.” Hear, hear.

Fun Fact: It was written by Chris Eaton (who also wrote ‘Saviour’s Day’)

White Christmas (1991)

Cliff does a very decent cover of this seasonal classic made famous by Bill Crosby. Again I must also direct you to the video – expect slow motion snowball fights and awkward swaying on a stationary sleigh.

Fun Fact: Bill Crosby’s version is the best selling single of all time with over 100 million copies sold worldwide.

‘Tis the season to look fabulous

It’s that time of year again when we’ve got deadlines, dinners and undoubtedly a diary chock-o-block with upcoming social engagements. Fear not! Here’s the essential guide to every party outfit you will ever need this festive season.

The Show-Stopper

You won’t fail to turn heads in this matching skirt and top combo, although your friends will be forgiven if they have to shield their eyes. H&M have some great partywear this season and this sequined ensemble is no exception. If you think you’re more of a star than the one on top of the tree, then it’s the perfect way to say “Look at me!” On the other hand, if you don’t want to sparkle too brightly, just opt for one or the other and pair it with a plain black top/skirt.

H&M (Exclusively online)

Top – £19.99

Skirt – £19.99

The Retro Robin

This outfit from Topshop is a bit on the pricey side, but students get 10% discount all year round so what better reason treat yourself to an early Christmas present! This beaded Jacket by independent label We Are Cow, is a unique, genuine vintage piece. The only downside to this is that it means it’s non returnable, but why would you want to bring this beauty back anyway? I think it looks great layered over this simple gold dress – Demure yet dazzling.

Topshop

Jacket – £35

Dress – £42 (Petite)

The Sexy Santa

This dress by New Look is simple yet stylish, and the off-the-shoulder neckline just makes it that little bit sexier. Whether you go all out and add a santa hat and stockings, or just glam it up with sparkly accessories, you’ll never run out of ideas for how to wear this dress – a definite wardrobe staple. Did I mention it’s also a bargain at £22.99? Cheap as chapstick.

New Look

Dress – £22.99

The Lady Merry

If you’re as much of a Downton Abbey fan as me, you’ll most surely be highly anticipating the series finale on Christmas day. We might not know who’s going to snuff it, but you can still look drop-dead gorgeous in this 1920’s style dress. It’s on sale at the minute too, so snap it up before it sells out…or get your ladies maid to fetch it for you.

Sequin Embellished Mesh Shift Dress — Photo: M&S website

Marks and Spencers

Dress (Per Una) – Was £59.00 Now £41.30 (30% off)

The New Year’s

New Year’s Eve is notoriously the most disappointing night of the year, so why not make it a little more bearable with another stunning sequined number from H&M? If you’re in a club you won’t even have to try and attract someone for your kiss at midnight, they’ll most likely be so dazzled by your attire that they’ll come to you.

H&M

Dress – £39.99

The Glam-bam thank you ma’am

This dress from Quiz, is perfect if you have an hourglass or curvy figure, as it hugs the body in all the right places. It’s similar to the Sexy Santa, but just that bit more glamorous. Pair it with a pearl necklace and a furry white shawl for the perfect Hollywood look. Did I mention students get 15% off as well?

Quiz

Dress – £29.99

The LBD

The LBD has become a fashion staple for every occasion, and Christmas is no exception! I love this Scuba Bardot Skater dress from River Island, as it has an elegant neckline but a flowy skirt, which says “I’m ready to party” – making it extremely versatile. Dress it up with sparkly silver or gold accessories, and dance the night away!

River Island

Dress – £40.00

Byrne, baby Byrne…

Kathy Giddins heads to Exmouth to see Ed Byrne set the world of stand-up on fire

FROM the moment Ed Byrne saunters onto stage, grinning sardonically with a pint of beer in hand, I know I’m in for a fun night, and it seems I’m not alone in this assumption. Straight away, a woman in the front row throws him a note with her phone number which says “you are incredibly sexy”. We all know everyone loves the Irish, but I’d never had Ed down as a sex symbol. Nevertheless, he seems flattered, but bashfully reminds everyone that he’s happily married.

This was quite a fitting start to the evening, as relationships and the terrifying world of dating forms a large part of Ed’s act, as he expresses his lament at never having been part of the Tinder generation. “In my day, you had to actually meet her in person before she’d agree to have sex with you,” he jokes, “dates were more like auditions or interviews”. He then proceeds to regale us with hilarious stories of his worst dates, including the time he bought flowers for a girl and asked her twice if she was going to put them in some water to which she laughed in his face – they were plastic. The irony of course is that he’d studied two years of a Horticulture degree. It’s a fact that very few people know, and Ed doesn’t often talk about his time at university. However, he does give us a brief insight into his student life, saying that he once witnessed a medical student piss on a snail and then eat it for a bet – there wasn’t even a cash wager (that whole eel affair seems quite trivial now, doesn’t it?)

Asides from amusing anecdotes with extremely eloquent turns of phrase, such as when he describes his bout of diarrhoea as “oxtail soup in a sodastream”, I find that Ed touches on some important issues relating to feminism, and in particular gender stereotypes which he himself brands as “the thorniest issue since Jesus was fitted for a hat”. In particular, he speaks a lot about the trials and tribulations of parenting, and the struggles of trying to raise children in a society where boys aren’t meant to like pink shoes or Frozen.

We all know everyone loves the Irish, but I’d never had Ed down as a sex symbol.

A high point for me is definitely the moment when he blasts Nigel Farage for saying that breastfeeding in public is OK as long as it’s not “ostentatious”. This was accompanied by some amusing suggestions as to how one could ostentatiously breastfeed, such as clamping twins onto both breasts and swinging them round like tassles, or locking eyes with the first man you see across the room for the whole duration. I’ll remember that one for the future.

All-in-all, it was a great night, and I definitely laughed a lot. Ed Byrne’s style of comedy is timeless, being neither crass nor vulgar. Instead, it’s emotionally intelligent, thought-provoking and laugh-out-loud hilarious. In short, Ed Byrne makes me proud to be Irish.