The Five Stages of Exams
Denial
It’s the middle of April now and you’re at home, seeing friends you haven’t seen for months, binge-watching Netflix and enjoying the few precious moments of sunshine graciously given to you by the God of Procrastination. You were sure that being home and bringing all your books back with you would mean automatic productivity. You were wrong. You didn’t take into account your family and friends, the comfort of your own bed, your cat or dog that you swear you’ll bring back with you to uni when you return. It’s the middle of April and your books and laptop are somewhere in the living room, shut and hidden under a blanket.
Anger
It’s the start of May and exams are approaching. You want to be productive, you truly do but everything and everyone is against you! The Library never has a free seat, especially since some students started reserving seats overnight by leaving books and water bottles on desks. It’s always either too hot or too cold to revise and you are suddenly spending all your money on coffees and snacks. And why do all your exams have to be at the top of a stupid hill? You already know you’ll get there all sweaty and flustered and you’re truly wondering how long it will take for your uni to sort their sh*t out!
Bargaining
You promise yourself it will be the last episode you’re watching today, the last one before getting to work. But then you are hungry and it’s lunchtime (or not) and you can’t study while eating, it’s too distracting and you need both hands. Then you can’t pause the episode after starting it while eating, wouldn’t make sense right? You need to finish the episode so you make a cup of tea. By the time the tea is drinkable, the second last episode has ended and you need to start the third last one to drink it, which you can’t pause once you’ve had your cup of tea. After that, your friends come over for a study session. You have tea which is probably spiced up with something stronger this time, and gossip while promising yourselves that tonight will be the night, the night when you’ll be so productive that it will be easy to start tomorrow morning. After another cup of tea though.
Depression
You feel like it’s just too much. Your friends’ banter suddenly sounds like they don’t like you, the person you’re seeing at the moment is avoiding you (not really) and you can’t stop thinking that you haven’t done enough work no matter how much you’ve actually done. Are you prepared for your exams? Probably. Are you still going to cry over how unprepared you feel? Definitely. You can buy pints of Ben&Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream and top it with mini marshmallows. You can stay in your pj’s all day even if you plan on revising in the Amory, who would care anyway? By the time you’ve asked yourself this question you’ll be crying again.
Acceptance
Take a deep breath. The weather has cleared up but it’s not stifling, which makes going up the hills far easier. You’re meeting up with course mates a couple of hours before your exam near the hall for last minute revision and confidence boosts. Also means you won’t get to the hall all sweaty and red. Everything is going to be okay. Sure, you might not feel as ready as you’d want to be, and maybe there are other things in your life that distracted you from the 2.1 at the end of the tunnel. But it’s okay, because summer is here now and it equals months of doing anything you like just because you took the decision to do it. Jobs, internships, lying on a beach somewhere far or enjoying a good book right here, it’s all yours. Enjoy.
