Exeter, Devon UK • [date-today] • VOL XII
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Magic Masters

New Magic Masters at the University of Exeter!
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In Exeter’s latest attempt to rebrand its legacy, a new course has been announced that will change Exeter’s magic reputation forever! The University’s branding team are hoping that the introduction of the MA in Magic and Occult Science will replace the university’s most infamous connection to magic; the most famous magic user after Gandalf, Nanny McPhee and whoever it was who tricked students into thinking Jagerbombs taste good – Harry Potter himself.

Following the introduction of the new ‘Magic Masters’, a spokesperson for the University claimed “we are hoping that googling ‘Exeter University magic’ will now distract everybody from notable transphobic alumni.” If this doesn’t work, their back up plan is simply to teach masters students to cast a spell over the population and vanish all memories of JK Rowling from their minds.

The degree offers many other benefits to the University; MA students could be put to work transfiguring old Lafrowda, conjuring yet another re-brand and of course making every student forget their partnership with Shell.

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