This article contains language with the potential to upset people who have suffered from sexual violence. This is no way its intention, and the article is here to share the support in place for students, and to expose damaging dialogue around rape and sexual abuse. Links within this article will take you to immediate phone and self-referral services should you require them.
Devon Rape Crisis is a charity who offer confidential, professional support to survivors of rape and sexual abuse in Devon. I spoke to CEO Davina Cull and Head of Service Delivery Josceline Leicester, about the support the charity can provide for students.
Being a survivor of rape of sexual abuse can take many forms. Devon Rape Crisis are not a crisis service, they offer ongoing support to those who have experienced sexual violence of any form, now or in the past.
Devon Rape Crisis want desperately to help, but their lack of funding has led to a huge waiting list and many have felt unsupported by the charity. Davina and Joss shared how important it is for people to feel seen and heard during the waiting process, something they are working to improve. As a charity, they would need to grow by at least double to meet the full demand they know exists.
Many have shared with the charity that the feeling of waiting is painful. It leaves many feeling isolated as they often feel unable to speak to their usual support system about their experiences. Devon Rape Crisis understand this, 80% of the women who work for the charity are survivors of rape and sexual abuse themselves. When speaking to Davina and Joss, I noticed the power and drive that comes from personal experience.
It’s about putting the power in the hands of the survivors, be that speaking out, asking for help, or processing and moving forward- there’s a lot to be said about taking action in the aftermath of a violence.
Davina and Joss shared that whilst the University of Exeter gives them some money, and they appreciate the positive relationship, it doesn’t begin to cover the support that students require. There’s a real lack of funding. “What we know of survivors is that they want an honest appraisal of what’s happening- the support is there, but there is a wait.”
“What we know of survivors is that they want an honest appraisal of what’s happening- the support is there, but there is a wait.”
“And when we give people honesty, they can make choices for themselves.”
Many are told that therapy is the only answer. It is an option, but it’s not the only way to start healing. Joss and Davina shared how “everyone will think counselling is the way forward, but that doesn’t take into account how ready you are for it”.
So, what are the options for someone who is suffering because of rape or sexual abuse?
Devon Rape Crisis offer services that can help you immediately. They have a helpline which is underused and available to anyone three times a week. On a Monday, Wednesday or Friday between 6-9pm, you can call 01392 204174 or email support@devonrapecrisis.org.uk. They will be there to listen to anything you would like to discuss. They are there to support you and help you to understand how you are feeling, and your options. Conversations of this form, are allowed to be about you and it is hugely beneficial to call someone who understands what’s happened.
Devon Rape Crisis offer services that can help you immediately.
When the helpline is closed you can also call the National Rape Crisis‘ 24/7 Support Line on 0808 500 2222. This offers confidential emotional support, information and referral details. Regardless of whether you’re on a waiting list, receiving support, or could use hearing someone share that they understand, these two numbers will be really helpful for you.
Our conversation then dipped to a dicussion about the importance of activism, and how it can be approached in the day-to-day lives of survivors.
Something that I realised during our call was that rape shouldn’t be a political issue, but it is. It should be understood, and people should be able to get support easily, but the words we use to describe rape, and the culture of having to “say no” have led to so many feeling unsure of what happened to them, unaware of the language to articulate their pain.
We have this tendency to shy away from the word rape, even I do.
We have this tendency to shy away from the word rape, even I do. When I asked Davina and Joss about it, they were silent for a moment, clearly this is something they come across often, “this is the problem, Katie, that we don’t use the right language, we try and soften something that is a violence. We wouldn’t say, ‘let’s soften somebody who’s been stabbed with a knife’, we wouldn’t wrap that up in cotton wool and make it nice and tidy. Rape is a violent act, and it should make people feel uncomfortable, it’s frankly bloody awful.”
If you don’t determine what rape is, by using the correct language, then people start to question it, they decipher the cracks in the language as cracks in the story. Nobody deserves that treatment.
So no, rape shouldn’t be politicised, but it is. It has to be.
Our conclusion then, was that rape shouldn’t be politicised, but it is. It has to be. A huge part of recovery is learning that victims have power too. This power can be seen “when women march together, when they stand together, when they’re in solidarity with each other.”
The Reclaim the Night march through Exeter city centre on Thursday 5th December was a great example of people from all walks of life, including many students from the University, standing up for violences that are often kept quiet.
However, as survivors, it’s okay to not be ready for activism. Recovery is a conflicting process, Devon Rape Crisis will be able to help you understand that you can give yourself the time you deserve to heal.
Devon Rape Crisis have other support available too, from Dartmoor walks to craft evenings, and survivors can always come together themselves. Try to talk to people you trust, let them help you through this time. Talking itself is a huge step, and Devon Rape Crisis can definitely offer that conversational support through their underused helpline. During the waiting process for therapy, they will check-in my phone to make sure you’re okay and be there to chat if you need.
To self refer for support, click here.
To find a self help guide for survivors, click here.
Support is available, and Devon Rape Crisis can be a part of that, but they can’t do it all. After my conversation with these two wonderful people, I’m frustrated that there isn’t more space for the support they want to offer. But with every conversation, with every call for help, every march, every question of our culture, every loud voice, change feels a little closer. For today, let’s let that be a win.
