Sunglasses are a statement, from the Blues Brothers to those tinted wraparounds your Dad wears in the Costa del Sol. So are tiny sunglasses in fact a fashion for the ages? Oscar Wilde, authority on the subject, called fashion “a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” And what is more seasonal than sunglasses? In England we don’t need them by September.
Oscar said too that “All art is quite useless.” And indeed, those who say “fashion is function” have clearly never noticed the rarity of someone wearing a Versace runway extravaganza to their local Tesco. Fashion is for style, not purpose, and as is clear – even if it is the problem for the tiny sunglass naysayers – if tiny sunglasses are anything, it is absolutely not functional.
No, they won’t protect you from the sun, and they don’t purport to. You wouldn’t ask for a shave from a pianist – it’s not their job. So, if you’re wearing tiny sunglasses, it could not be clearer that they are solely for the vibes. You are nailing the Morpheus aesthetic, and don’t care who knows it. Whose right is it to tell you how to garnish your own beautiful face? To oppress your aesthetic? Certainly not some totalitarian in Wayfarers.
When you’re getting blackout at Hijacked, why not do it en vogue? Be free. Rock your tiny shades. Even if it can look a bit stupid. Tiny is a better trend than lens-less at least.