Saturday May 26th marked the rebirth of a legend. Like a phoenix from the ashes, Saturday Lemmy has returned. Kind of. “Lost Saturdays” as it is now affectionately titled, promised a “huge, naughty affair with an extra side of fun”. It was definitely huge, in as much as the queue stretched back to the business school and it took 45 minutes to buy a pitiful VK. The atmosphere was slightly less school disco than before, being more like a top-secret rave for 16 year olds whose only dance move is to do finger guns and make a face that suggests there is an extremely unpleasant smell in the air. It was the kind of night you’d get if DSP and Thursday Fever had an illegitimate child; a lovely thought but way too much s*** to clean up after.

As far as a launch night goes, it wasn’t fantastic. It was similar to a cucumber sandwich that had been left out of the fridge for too long and had gone slightly limp. It certainly wasn’t the wild Saturdays from my time as a fresher. Never again will I be found staggering up Forum Hill after spending 30 minutes trying to open a random flat door using Apple Pay. Never again will I expect to see Clean Bandit and end up with a DJ simply playing their music. Saturday Lemoir gave me some of the best and some of the messiest nights of my life, and that is something that can never be replaced – regardless how many Broncos are provided for me to buck. Will these “Lost Saturdays” go the distance when the new bunch of Freshers descend in September?

As we all know, Saturday Lemmy is an institution that all freshers must attend, especially those of you who live in Lafrowda. However, it was the appalling lack of fresher participation that led to the death of the original Saturday Lemmy back in February. I’m not convinced that these “Lost Saturdays” will be enough to overtake the TP Powerhouse. Even Unit One is struggling to pull in the punters, their only busy day being the unbreakable Cheesy Tuesdays.

In order for Saturday Lemmy to retake its rightful place as Queen of Saturday Nights, it better have something good up its sleeve.

More bar staff would be a good start, and maybe lessons for some of those the other side of the bar who think it’s appropriate to scream profanities until they get served. Also, if there are to be two DJs, make them different. Drum and Bass is great for a solid seven minutes then give me the Beyoncé I’m craving and I’ll stop whining. Hey, perhaps the organisers could go wild and get actual legit acts to play there or make everything glittery. If there’s glitter, you know there’ll be a full house. Or even just bring back Saturday Lemmy as it was in the glory days, with just an extra sprinkle of pizzazz.

Although the Lemmy has, like Lazarus, risen from the dead, it is not and will never be the same. Goodbye old pal, you shall be missed.

bookmark me