Nip into town on a cold Christmas Eve,
Trying to find a present for Steve,
And Mum, and Dad, and grandparents too.
I’ve left it so late, there’s so much to do.
Taking a peek at my meagre savings
I wish I’d resisted my takeaway cravings.
Is £4.75 enough to go round?
I glance about for lost change on the ground.
With a sigh and a grimace I have to decide
Which family member I most need onside.
Dad pays my phone bill, Mum makes me cakes,
Gran sends me postcards from mountains and lakes,
But Nan sends me money, just plain old cash
And the answer pops up in a mulled wine fueled flash.
Nan gets the present, the best of the lot
The rest can share those biscuits I got.
Sure brownies are nice, and phones are handy
Postcards from here and there can be dandy
But none of those things will quite suffice
As none of them can buy my sweet Smirnoff Ice.