Exeter, Devon UK • Mar 4, 2024 • VOL XII

Exeter, Devon UK • [date-today] • VOL XII
Home Satire Student Housing: Book now for 2025

Student Housing: Book now for 2025

Freshers shocked to learn about rush for student housing.
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Image: Geograph

With term one in full swing, many freshers are going through their rights of passage. After fighting off freshers flu, scrambling for TP Wednesday tickets, and finally accepting that they don’t need to go to all of their lectures (the ‘they’re recorded anyway’ excuse is making its annual appearance) the Freshers are in for one more shock. Freshers are being advised to start looking for accommodation now…for their final year.

‘Overheard at Exeter’ has been flooded with Landlords encouraging students to put down their deposits at least one year in advance in order to secure a spot in an overcrowded market. One landlord’s advertisement read: “Due to unprecedented demand, we’re delighted to start advertising now for the 2025 academic year! We promise we’ll keep your deposit safe until then, it’s not like students have got better things to spend their money on anyway!”

Following a cutting-edge Exeposé investigation into student’s opinions, this is what one student, Binky, had to say: “I think it’s exciting!”, she declared. “There’s nothing that says ‘best friends for life’ more than committing to a housing contract in two years’ time with people you’ve only known for a few weeks! I think having deposits tied to our friendship will really help us stay friends for longer!”

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