Breaking news! The president elect Donald Trump has been in the headlines in the last few weeks regarding his ideas of purchasing Greenland and the Panama Canal. However, the latest info tells us he has his eyes set on a new target. None other than the city of Exeter. It is not surprising that Trump wants his own part of the UK, but the question remains why choose Exeter as a target. Is it the sirenic views of Sidwell Street? The quick access to the beach? The endless supply of chinos? Well, sources tell us he is more interested in the business venture that Exeter would provide.
Everyone knows that Trump is a business man first and foremost, so his decision in purchasing Exeter is driven by the need to make money. You might be asking, why would Exeter be a good business venture? That is because of the potential Exeter students have to becoming the next great business men. In the past few weeks there has been ampule evidence of this. Several students have forgotten about their studies to become full time TP ticket resellers, something that Trump has reportedly found inspiring. There are talks that the man behind the app MyNightOut is the frontrunner to be in charge of handling inflation.
Make Exeter Great Again!
We’re expecting to see the new campaign ‘Make Exeter Great Again’ start rolling out in the coming weeks. There have already been signs posted up in windows throughout the city and we’ve been told there are plans to sell new ‘MEGA’ merch in forum marketplace. We spoke to one student who said Trump’s take-over would be a ‘MEGA’ let-down, which has seemed to spark ongoing protests of students vandalising MEGA signs with profanities. We have reached out to Trumps team for a comment about this marketing fail but have yet to get a response.
It is unknown is Devon will part with its favourite city, or if they’ll be the latest place to resist the Trump takeover. As soon as new information is released, we will keep you updated. In other news, reports are just coming in that Elon Musk wants to turn the old Unit 1 into a Tesla factory. However, it seems he has come into a bidding war with Mr Beast who is planning 24 hours in Unit 1 challenge.
