Rachel Busman visits the campaign trail of last minute third candidate of the U.S Election, Presidential Candidate Bush…
Rumours sparked in Tulsa, Oklahoma last week after a tumbleweed blew across the stage during a Democrat rally. Claims that George Bush Sr would be running for President as an independent party in 2024 began after one witty onlooker joked that the rolling detritus was ‘George the Bush’, a jibe that was unfortunately caught on camera and later seized upon by fans on the platform known formerly as Twitter. Support for the plant has been overwhelming and backing has grown exponentially, largely prompted by strong taglines like, ‘Roll With Bush’, and ‘Bush! Bush! Bush!’
Despite the Biden Administration denying any claims of involvement with George the Bush, primarily due to the fact that former President George H. W. Bush Sr has been deceased since November 2018, its popularity continues to grow. In fact, this only fanned the flames of support for the Bush as some camps have even begun terming this the ‘Third Rise of Bush’ and consider the tumbleweed to be possessed by the former President’s disquieted spirit. Former President George W. Bush Jr is yet to weigh in on his father’s latest spiritual activity.
Many Americans confess they are happy to see a Bush back on the ballot and look forward to the pioneering, future-thinking revitalisation of traditional values Bush’s presidency promises. One voter explained, “It’s just so good to see Bush making a comeback […] some of us thought he would never return”. Another remarked, “He’s not Democrat, he’s not Republican, he’s just bush.”
Make America Arid Again!
George the Bush
Reports predict that at least a third of all Americans supporting the Bush campaign believe he is the strongest choice for the presidency, and deny allegations that he is instead, an inanimate ball of dead plant matter. Attempts to discuss Bush’s uncertain past with voters have been met with increasingly hostile behaviour.
A group of online voters have popularised messianic beliefs around Bush’s campaign trail, claiming that the tumbleweed is God’s reincarnation on Earth, who has chosen America as the primary seat of power in the Universe: “It just makes sense.” His campaign manager will neither confirm nor deny these suggestions, but instead gives a demure smile when asked. Voters reason that faced with hate speech and genocide apologetics; this is the “lesser evil”.
The Bush is running on issues of democracy, immigration, and economy, though is yet to publish any specific details about what those policies may look like. Additionally, it has been declared that George the Bush “will never raise taxes”, which seems to be offering a competitive edge to the tumbleweed over the other candidates. But the tumbleweed’s popularity spiked once more after the campaign’s environmental policy was announced as Bush’s controversial pro-desertification stance has since prompted the new slogan, ‘Make America Arid Again’ whilst further comments about “fixing inflation permanently” have rattled both the Democrat and Republican campaigns.
We have reached out to the Bush’s campaign, but any attempt to speak directly with the Bush himself has been impeded by conflicting schedules.
At time of writing, recent polls give George the Bush a ten-point lead on either candidate. Perhaps the time has come for a third Bush Presidency.
