Things You Hear Coming Out as Bisexual at University
Exeter has been great for two things regarding my sexuality.
The first being the opportunity to experiment. Before university I was “bicurious”, but to everyone else I was straight. And I kept on convincing myself that I was too.
A month after coming to Exeter, however, all it took was replying to a post on Yik Yak one night, and I was speaking to my would-be friend-with-benefits through all of first year.
This was simultaneously great and terrifying: Sex – awesome. I’m not actually straight – oh shit.
Over a couple months I slowly came out to the people most important to me, and that’s the other real positive I’ve found in Exeter: not a single friend here has tried being anything other than supportive.
Whilst no one has reacted badly, I’ve been asked some weird things before, and sometimes the same ones come up again and again.
I’ve been asked some weird things before
“Wow, you’re lucky you have so much choice!”
Well, kind of. I guess there are more people to choose from, but definitely doesn’t mean more people choose me! Sadly, more often than not, that isn’t more loving, its just extra opportunity to stumble over words and look awkward in front of Exeter’s attractive members of both sexes.
“So, which do you prefer?”.
Really? I know people ask this only because they’re interested but being asked it really has become a pet peeve. To answer, it just changes. For example, if I’m dating a man, I may temporarily not have a lot of interest in women and vice versa. However, to me bisexuality is the potential to like both, and all though some people lean one way or the other, for me I just can’t answer in general the question of which I prefer.
“Oh you must be up for a threesome then”.
A stereotype I cannot deny in my own case. To clarify, neither I nor any other bisexuals are necessarily depraved people who can’t keep it in their pants. If my partner doesn’t want to try it, we won’t do it -simple as that. All I’m saying is it’s on the bucket list for sure!
(Disclaimer: Not all bisexual people want threesomes, many monosexuals do.)
“But don’t you miss [genitalia my partner does not have].”
Plain and simply: no. To me sex is in the connection and communication, I try to stay open minded and whatever’s in their pants just isn’t an important factor for me.