University is a time for self-discovery. You can have new experiences. It’s a time for learning about who you are, what you like, what you dislike. You can stumble home from unit one, having resisted Sidwell Street’s various takeaway offerings, knowing in the back of your mind that the two for one Dominoes code is waiting for you at home. But if you discover in these moments that what you like is combining two truly excellent foods to create a culinary monster, please un-discover yourself and hide that part of you forever and learn to live with the shame.
The rest of the world- or to be more specific, America- has messed with Italy’s beautiful culinary invention in so many ways. There’s now deep pan, stuffed crust, chips on pizza, dips for pizza, pizzas made out of chocolate- you name it, there’s a pizza for it. I watched a YouTube video of Lucie Fink eat nothing but various forms of pizza for a week. I am a twenty-first century woman and I do not oppose innovation, I will welcome these changes with open arms, heart, and mind and make a space for everyone to share in arguably the best food ever invented, but I will not stand by whilst such a culturally rich country’s food is defiled by a piece of fruit.
I’d like to say at this point I also have nothing against pineapple. It’s a wonderfully refreshing, simple item of food that is perfectly delicious on its own. Even as a pallet cleanser after you’ve eaten your delicious pizza. Just not on top.
Love who you want to love, do what you want to do, follow your dreams and all that good stuff. Just leave the pineapple out of it. To quote Gordon Ramsay, ”you don’t put pineapple on a fucking pizza.”