Dating Disaster: a memoir
An anonymous contributor discusses a dismal date that left them feeling deeply disconcerted
As someone relatively new to the Exeter dating scene following a long-term relationship, I hadn’t really known what to expect. Whilst I’d been for awkward drinks due to the delights of various dating apps – the kind where there’s an unsure hug at the beginning and end, signifying the painful few hours are finally over – proper dates, dinner and all, had eluded me. Fast forward a few months and we get to the start of third year, a year supposedly without distraction, dating disasters and disappointment. Or so I thought…
On a drunken night in TP (which is how every questionable story starts), I started talking to a guy who I recognised as having mutual friends with some of my coursemates and my flatmate, seems like a perfect combination of someone I’m not already friends with whilst being someone who wouldn’t be scared of my friends. He asked me if I wanted to go to Firehouse for pizza the following week and I accepted, as a) he was attractive and b) everyone loves Firehouse pizza.
proper dates, dinner and all, had eluded me
We get to the day of the date: as was expected, I felt sick, felt regret at my life choices and wondered what I was doing this all for. However, just as good friends do, they try and make things super awkward for you, because they need excitement in their lives. Whether it was them hatching a plan to all have an evening in at my house so they were there when he came to collect me, or them announcing that they’d turn up to Firehouse with his identical twin, every aspect of the evening had been scrutinised by my friends, meaning I will never tell them of any dates ever again. It’s safe to say the defining moment of the night was when my housemate told me they’d written my name with my date’s last name on the fridge in magnetic letters – he came into our kitchen for a cup of tea. RIP me.