‘Coming out’ as sapiosexual?
Catherine Lloyd interrogates the notion of sapiosexuality, a “sexual attraction” founded upon intellect
Mark Ronson, renowned producer for the likes of Amy Winehouse and ‘Uptown Funk’ maestro, roused a media frenzy last month with his supposed “coming-out” as sapiosexual. In reality what Ronson said was misconstrued and vilified. Whilst interviewed on Good Morning Britain – strikingly after a segment on sapiosexuality – he was asked whether he was attracted to intelligence, stating nonchalantly in response “who wouldn’t be? I suppose I am a sapiosexual.”. His commentary has since been hijacked by sensationalist headlines of his newfound sexuality, when in actuality he was asserting a preference of his. His intentions were without malice, above all this should spur us to collectively educate ourselves on the implications of what we say. Many media outlets have jumped on the metaphorical bandwagon, denouncing it as virtue signalling whilst, Ronson has since apologised stating, “ I do not consider myself part of any marginalised community”.
Unintentionally, he has reduced their lived experiences to a glib remark
For those unacquainted with the term, sapiosexual is derived from the latin verb ‘sapere’, meaning ‘to be wise’; fundamentally, sapiosexuality is a sexual attraction founded upon intellect above all other characteristics. Ronson’s adoption of the term came under a barrage of criticism when his “coming out” was deemed to trivialise the LGTBQ+ endeavour for social acceptance and sexual equality. He, a hetereosexual white male, is afforded the comfort of flippantly “coming out” on national TV, whilst the LGTBQ+ community are still marginalised, chastised by disapproving eyes and are subject to horrific hate crimes. For many, Ronson has usurped a term loaded with fraught histories of social stigma and the anxieties of a minority identity when affronted with the perceived societal norm. Unintentionally, he has reduced their lived experiences to a glib remark. The fight for queer legitimacy is ceaseless; they must out themselves in every new social situation as hetereosexuality is the assumed orientation; historically belittled as a phase, queer identities are invalidated, time and again, for the sake of a pop artist deciding to toy with bi-curiousness to tap into a new market for record sales. When the LGTBQ+ community is in such need of allyship, are we not deriding their efforts by labelling a natural bias towards intelligence – that we all instinctively have – as a sexual orientation?
The term came to the fore of our lexicon in 2014, when OKCupid categorised sapiosexual under sexual orientation and gender identity. Now back under scrutiny, the terms re-emergence has been met with backlash: critics stress that a sexual orientation solely based upon intellect is classist; as the term breeds a divisive superiority, setting apart those that possess degree-level qualifications and those without as lesser. The general populous are right in their confusion when questions of: why are we labelling what is a human instinct?, are overriding public response. How would one measure intellect when it is relative to each person? The adoption of a label alike sapiosexual is expected when our culture urges us to disclose all our private information. Though it does seem superfluous when sapiosexual’s close neighbours are humour-sexual and generous-sexual; is it not a given that we desire our partner to be intelligent?
The onus is on you to carve out one’s identity in a world where intentions are blurred
Somewhat a misnomer, sapiosexuality is defined as a sexual orientation rather than what it really is: a sexual preference. Rebuked as pretentious, it does raise a suspicion of foregrounding elitism and ableism in dating culture. Providing a problematic platform, the term gives voice to damaging notions of ‘othering’, disassociating from those that are neurologically different, ranging from dyslexia to autism. It being reminiscent of a cleansing of or disenfranchisement from those that diverge from a perceived, necessary intellect, is damning.
Sapiosexuality has been borne out of a rejection of our vacuous, hookup culture. A desire for meaningful conversation, ambition and substance is made explicit when ‘sapiosexual’ is inscripted on a dating bio. This appetite for intellectual stimulation is such a rarity in fact, that a personality preference has been verified as a legitimate sexual orientation. Arguably, classifying oneself, no matter how minor a preference, can help navigate the muddied waters of the modern dating scene. The onus is on you to carve out one’s identity in a world where intentions are blurred. This articulation of sexual preference is a dissent against the superficial and exhaustion of building rapport through a swipe right.
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