Exeter, Devon UK • Feb 27, 2024 • VOL XII

Exeter, Devon UK • [date-today] • VOL XII
Home Satire Coursework deadlines? Already?

Coursework deadlines? Already?

Maximus Woodley attempts to answer the question facing many students at this time of year: will I get my coursework done on time?
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Wed 4th October – Seminar leader has just asked if we all understand the brief for the ‘upcoming assessment.’ A pang of quiet panic strikes. I desperately search ELE. How could I have missed such an imminent essay assignment… ‘Due 13th November.’ Call off the dogs, the missing deadline has been found safe and sound. What a relief.

Wed 11th October – Seminar leader has once more brought up ‘upcoming assessment.’ Perhaps he is unaware that October and November are, in fact, not the same month.

Wed 18th October – He’s now insisting we book office hours to discuss our essay topics; yes, that seems entirely necessary for an assignment that is a whole moon cycle away…

Fri 27th October – Made it to Reading Week. Nine days of pure, uncensored work. Not only will I do all the research required for my essay, but I’ll also probably have plenty of time to return to some readings I missed from prior weeks. Academic-weapon mode activated.

Sun 5th November (Night) – Oh bugger.

Mon 6th November – Not to worry, ‘new week, new me.’

Tue 7th November – Oh no.

Wed 8th November – Oh no, oh no.

Thu 9th November – Oh no, oh no, oh no.

Fri 10th November – Have applied a three-day self-extension under ‘personal’ reasons. ‘Personal’ being a synonym for ‘sheer laziness.’ Now due on Thursday… would be rude not to go out tonight, considering how much time I’ve just saved…

Wed 15th November – An all-nighter it is.

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