Exeter, Devon UK • May 27, 2024 • VOL XII

Exeter, Devon UK • [date-today] • VOL XII
Home Satire Exeter Students break FIXR twice over EGB tickets

Exeter Students break FIXR twice over EGB tickets

As one of the most anticipated ticket drops of the university year, Print Editor-in-Chief Anabel Costa-Ferreira reports that EGB didn't break the bank this year - it broke FIXR.
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Image: Tim Gouw via Pexels

Get ready, set, break FIXR. Not the most typical of Monday evenings, but one l am sure will not be forgotten. As students prioritised their alarms for the Enchanted Garden Ball (EGB) over waking up for lectures, starting off the week well and getting an EGB ticket seemed synonymous. Student households across Exeter reported immeasurable levels of stress Monday evening, as households assembled every possible device to login to FIXR and debated whether a phone or laptop had better odds. Yet as 6pm hit (or 5.50pm for those of you valued Exeposé members) FIXR got stage fright and either crashed or started advertising any event besides EGB.

The chaos caused has left students comparing FIXR to that ‘one toxic ex you keep going back to.’

As societies quickly panicked, they had sent the wrong link to members (or maybe that was just me) news of the great FIXR crash of 2024 spread like wildfire. As always, Overheard provided some much-needed laughter in these moments of panic. While one student began by asking for everyone’s best offers for their 0 tickets, others felt disappointed in their Apple ‘ecosystems.’ Another rightfully emphasised FIXR’s frustrating inability to listen to the first three letters of its name.

EGB itself quickly responded to the matter, as it could no longer bear another DM from the city’s angry/sleep-deprived students. A few moments later, they even posted an image simply stating that FIXR had died, and we are all cordially invited to relive the stress at an unknown date next week. While the scams have already begun, it seems that acquiring tickets (to drink overpriced venoms in a field) will prove more difficult than trying to see Taylor Swift.

The next round and it seems FIXR once again cannot handle students’ eagerness to drink venoms in a field. The chaos caused has left students comparing FIXR to that ‘one toxic ex you keep going back to.’ Others continue to question whether EGB has even heard of Ticketmaster and whether at this rate we will have better luck using a friend’s garden to recreate the event. While for many it seemed the third time was the charm, others have been left with a newfound hatred for Skiddle. To paraphrase the new drama One Day- “It’s one of the great cosmic mysteries how Skiddle can go from being a total stranger to being the most important app on your phone.”

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