I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 16. However, since arriving at uni, I’ve moved in with the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. I love my boyfriend, but I’m not sure how to recover from this passion. What do I do?
Yours sincerely,
Happily Dating
Dear Happily Dating,
Try not to worry too much – it’s normal to appreciate a good-looking man even if you’re happy in your relationship. There’s a phrase for this very situation, I think it’s something like, “I’m taken, not dead!”
With that being said, if your feelings towards “the most beautiful man [you’ve] ever met” are more accurately described as lust (particularly if this lust is something you have urges to act on), you may want to reevaluate how in love with your boyfriend you really are.
Much love,
Agony Aunt
P.S. Don’t s**t where you eat x
Dear Agony Aunt,
I’m in my final year of University now and am desperate to graduate with a 1st. I got a 2:1 last year, though. Does this mean I can’t get a 1st overall? Please help.
Yours,
Academia Is My Life
Dear Academia Is My Life,
Firstly, don’t put so much pressure on yourself! Grades aren’t everything, despite how it may feel this way when you’re constantly in the uni bubble. However, I can understand your desire to get the highest grades you can! I’m sure you’ll be able to pull your average up to a 1st, but it won’t be easy.
Make sure you’re attending all of your contact hours, and make use of tutor office hours too where you can. Do all the required work for your course and cover as much of the secondary content as you can! If your seminar leaders don’t make study groups mandatory, it’s a good idea to get together with people from your seminars from time to time, as discussing the module with other people on it can often greatly deepen your understanding of it.
It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway; don’t leave any of your work until the last minute, especially not summative assessments! And don’t dismiss your formatives, they can be incredibly helpful, especially the feedback you get from them. Good luck!
Much love,
Agony Aunt
Dear Agony Aunt,
So there’s this girl. I met her a few weeks ago and I’m smitten. We have everything in common – music, films, books, you name it. Plus the sex is pretty good which never hurts.
The problem is, we’re both graduating this year, so we’re not dating because we don’t want to set ourselves up to get hurt a few months down the line. But arrrghhh I really like her!
What should I do?
Yours sincerely,
Star Crossed Lover
Dear Star Crossed Lover,
It sounds like, in your efforts to avoid setting yourself up for disaster, you’re already getting hurt. I would suggest you do one of two things: first, you could just jump in headfirst and try dating (without worrying about what will happen ten months into the future, which is what you’re doing at the moment) and enjoy the journey. Plus, relationships that make sense on paper often don’t work out for reasons out of our control, so there isn’t much point concerning yourself with what you’ll do about the relationship after graduation – cross that bridge if and when you come to it.
Alternatively, if you’re truly set on avoiding getting hurt by this situation, just go cold turkey. Seeing each other but not actually being together is often painful in and of itself, so the healthiest thing might just be to end it now.
In short, either go all in or let her go completely.
Much love,
Agony Aunt
Dear Agony Aunt,
I’m not sure how to phrase this, gosh it’s so embarrassing. I have…a brunch addiction. The avocado, the poached eggs, the smoothies, mmmmmm. Even writing this letter to you is giving me cravings. The problem is, I hate being so stereotypically ‘Exetah’.
Please fix me!
Your friend,
Avocado Addict
Dear Avocado Addict,
Honestly, the best thing for you to do is to accept yourself as you are. Love yourself! Plus brunch is the best meal; there should be no shame in a love of brunch, no matter how ‘Exetah’ you may feel.
Agony Aunt
Dear Agony Aunt,
I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 16. However, since arriving at uni, I’ve moved in with the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. I love my boyfriend, but I’m not sure how to recover from this passion. What do I do?
Yours sincerely,
Happily Dating
Dear Happily Dating,
Try not to worry too much – it’s normal to appreciate a good-looking man even if you’re happy in your relationship. There’s a phrase for this very situation, I think it’s something like, “I’m taken, not dead!”
With that being said, if your feelings towards “the most beautiful man [you’ve] ever met” are more accurately described as lust (particularly if this lust is something you have urges to act on), you may want to reevaluate how in love with your boyfriend you really are.
Much love,
Agony Aunt
P.S. Don’t s**t where you eat x
Dear Agony Aunt,
I’m in my final year of University now and am desperate to graduate with a 1st. I got a 2:1 last year, though. Does this mean I can’t get a 1st overall? Please help.
Yours,
Academia Is My Life
Dear Academia Is My Life,
Firstly, don’t put so much pressure on yourself! Grades aren’t everything, despite how it may feel this way when you’re constantly in the uni bubble. However, I can understand your desire to get the highest grades you can! I’m sure you’ll be able to pull your average up to a 1st, but it won’t be easy.
Make sure you’re attending all of your contact hours, and make use of tutor office hours too where you can. Do all the required work for your course and cover as much of the secondary content as you can! If your seminar leaders don’t make study groups mandatory, it’s a good idea to get together with people from your seminars from time to time, as discussing the module with other people on it can often greatly deepen your understanding of it.
It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway; don’t leave any of your work until the last minute, especially not summative assessments! And don’t dismiss your formatives, they can be incredibly helpful, especially the feedback you get from them. Good luck!
Much love,
Agony Aunt
Dear Agony Aunt,
So there’s this girl. I met her a few weeks ago and I’m smitten. We have everything in common – music, films, books, you name it. Plus the sex is pretty good which never hurts.
The problem is, we’re both graduating this year, so we’re not dating because we don’t want to set ourselves up to get hurt a few months down the line. But arrrghhh I really like her!
What should I do?
Yours sincerely,
Star Crossed Lover
Dear Star Crossed Lover,
It sounds like, in your efforts to avoid setting yourself up for disaster, you’re already getting hurt. I would suggest you do one of two things: first, you could just jump in headfirst and try dating (without worrying about what will happen ten months into the future, which is what you’re doing at the moment) and enjoy the journey. Plus, relationships that make sense on paper often don’t work out for reasons out of our control, so there isn’t much point concerning yourself with what you’ll do about the relationship after graduation – cross that bridge if and when you come to it.
Alternatively, if you’re truly set on avoiding getting hurt by this situation, just go cold turkey. Seeing each other but not actually being together is often painful in and of itself, so the healthiest thing might just be to end it now.
In short, either go all in or let her go completely.
Much love,
Agony Aunt
Dear Agony Aunt,
I’m not sure how to phrase this, gosh it’s so embarrassing. I have…a brunch addiction. The avocado, the poached eggs, the smoothies, mmmmmm. Even writing this letter to you is giving me cravings. The problem is, I hate being so stereotypically ‘Exetah’.
Please fix me!
Your friend,
Avocado Addict
Dear Avocado Addict,
Honestly, the best thing for you to do is to accept yourself as you are. Love yourself! Plus brunch is the best meal; there should be no shame in a love of brunch, no matter how ‘Exetah’ you may feel.
Much love,
Agony Aunt
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