Exeter, Devon UK • Mar 4, 2024 • VOL XII

Exeter, Devon UK • [date-today] • VOL XII
Home Satire Chaos as fresher babies run through Exeter

Chaos as fresher babies run through Exeter

Print Deputy Editor, Charlie Gershinson, investigates why giant babies were spotted running through Exeter's city centre.
5 mins read
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Image: Lewis Clarke via Wikimedia Commons

Chaos and unrest ruled the streets of Exeter for a brief period due to what was originally believed to be a breakout from HM Exeter Prison, a terrifying thought at best. The reality, however, left residents even more shocked as it emerged that the outbreak instead was a rabble of freshers attempting to impress their (possibly deranged) social secretaries by running down Queen Street and the High Street in nothing but adult-sized nappies.

The troop of identical mullet-wielding teenagers from the Home Counties seemed to sport an expected level of embarrassment and humiliation on their faces, while others instead seemed to be embracing or even enjoying the task on that damp autumn day. Speaking to Exeposé, one participant – Tarquin Montgomery III – described the experience as “exhilarating” and “what I had dreamed about since I was a little boy.” However, he did say that the experience probably couldn’t compare to what he had hoped to be his membership in the University of Oxford’s Bullingdon Club.

Speaking anonymously to Exeposé, one president of a popular sports society promised that the ‘baby run’ would not be a solitary event. Instead, the students and locals of Exeter can look forward to a series of experiences for the freshers to truly prove their mettle. The president also said that these would still be incomparable to “what we have planned at the next TP Wednesday.”

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