If you’ve had a drink- you aren’t seeing double. The pervasive outfit that has permeated posh student culture is no more.
To tame dull, homogenous outfits and ‘lad-culture’ behaviour, Cardiff University’s Students’ Union devised a plan: to ban blue shirts and chinos! After some bad behaviour on a Wednesday club night the Union have reported a better atmosphere already.
Through the trust-fund grape vine, Exeter students worry they may have to have a wardrobe exodus to make Timepiece Wednesday! Straight, white male culture may change forever in turn with the ban which is feared to sweep the country upon the shocking ban.
Crew Clothing Company, a well-beloved destination holiday for posh boys has been spotted empty for the first time in months despite exclusive discounts for Exeter-based sports societies. Societies are rumoured to be organising trips to Primark to look at how the other half live. In the meantime, if you see a Rugby boy outside Pret looking forlorn, please keep them in your thoughts- a culture shock is spreading in waves through the very fabric of university life.