Exeter, Devon UK • Jul 22, 2024 • VOL XII

Exeter, Devon UK • [date-today] • VOL XII
Home Science Looking for that one thats a perfect human specimen?

Looking for that one thats a perfect human specimen?

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Woman, 19, seeks biologically-perfect mate.

Seeking a male with a waist-to-hip ratio of between 0.8 and 1. I will be measuring. Any less and you clearly don’t have enough energy in your body to father our kids. Sorry.

Must have a prominent brow and chiselled jaw. This is not negotiable. Otherwise you probably won’t have enough testosterone to be at your peak sexual health. I am not prepared to take that risk.

“I would estimate myself as a 6/10.”

Attractiveness is required. By that, I mean your face and body must be as symmetrical as possible. By mating with someone attractive, our kids are more likely to be attractive and I can ensure that my fabulous genes are passed on. Moreover, if you’re symmetrical you’re more likely to be healthy. Then you can father more kids and take care of us all.

A similar level of attractiveness to myself is a good indicator that neither of us will cheat on each other. I would estimate myself as a 6/10. If you believe you are significantly higher or lower than this, then I will feel uneasy about selecting you as my partner.

“Not looking to invest my precious eggs in a man who cannot provide for our future children”

Must have reasonably similar genetics to myself. Will provide my DNA profile on meeting. I’ve read some studies implying that similar genetics are involved in friendships and mate selection. Would be nice if we could get on as friends, as well as reproductive mates. Mind you, our genes can’t be too similar, I don’t want people to think we are related.

Seeking partner who is successful and financially stable. Not looking to invest my precious eggs in a man who cannot provide for our future children. High social status is also preferable, as men of a higher status can access more resources. Obviously.

My mate should have the same values and beliefs as myself. I am a non-religious, academic student who values personal traits including altruism, kindness and humour in a partner. If you do not share these values then we may argue and you might leave me. Then who will take care of me and the kids?

If you plan to/have ever been unfaithful to a partner, then please do not respond to this advertisement. I understand that reproducing with various women greatly increases a man’s chance of passing on his genes, however, I am not into that. I want a man who will stick around and provide me and my children with resources.

Think I sound too fussy? I’ll be the one pushing the babies out, so I think I’ll hold out for Mr Right thanks.


Male, 22, looking for youthful, fertile female.

I’m looking for a woman with a symmetrical face, indicative that you have fewer genetic mutations and have coped well with environmental pressures. If you’re symmetrical you’re probably healthy enough to bear and raise my children. How sexy.


“Perfect for child-bearing.”


I’ve also read that if you’re a symmetrical dancer, I’ll be more attracted to you. So if you throw some symmetrical shapes, whatever that entails, you’ve got my attention.

As well as symmetry, a small face and chin is a good indicator that your oestrogen levels are just right. Perfect for child-bearing. A smaller face will also make your eyes ‘pop’, even more so if you wear eyeliner. We tend to want to look after creatures with big eyes- puppies, babies and women! A woman with big eyes will get me feeling all protective and loving.

Blonde hair is preferred, as this will remind me that you are young and fertile, and that I can reproduce with you. You know how children sometimes have blonde hair when they are young, but it darkens with age? We men can’t help but associate blonde hair with youth.

As for your body- a study shows that the most attractive women have a BMI around 20.85. So if that’s you, great, but I’m more keen to know about a woman’s hips. A waist-to-hip ratio anywhere between 0.61 and 1.18 is generally considered as a sign of good health and having enough energy to bear and raise kids. I’m not after a play-boy bunny, who on average have a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7, I’m after some curves.

Let’s not forget boobs. Not to offend the no-doubt beautiful, small-breasted girls out there, but big boobs are another sign that you are a healthy, child-bearing woman.

But I’m not all about looks! Sharing my attitudes and beliefs are important for boosting my self-esteem and generally getting on with each other. More than this, if you show any positive traits like kindness or generosity, I am more likely to find you physically attractive. It’s win-win.

“You carry and deliver the babies after all.”

If you’re going to cheat on me then forget about responding. Infidelity is a definite deal-breaker. Studies have shown that men show more sexual jealousy than women and I don’t want to be feeling jealous. I’m not investing my time or resources in a woman who might be carrying someone else’s kid.

Of course, it’s only fair that you women get to be choosier than men when it comes to selecting a mate. You carry and deliver the babies after all. But I’m a man who is willing to commit and is ready to start passing on my genes. Please respond if you are interested and I shall evaluate you in person.



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