There’s nothing better than receiving an unexpected delivery, especially when it turns out to be a message from a loved one. A new business venture is now allowing people to have a message inscribed on a humble potato and send it to a friend or relative. Forget the rise of the technological age, the postmen are back and loaded with carbohydrates. It’s an ecologically vegan paradise. However, a message written on a potato raises many issues. Can any variety of potato be used? Is it a baked potato? What happens if it sprouts? So many questions, so few answers. There are also practical concerns. Like any perishable item, the potatoes would surely need secure packaging to ensure that the recipient gets a whole potato and not just, well, mash. There is also the question of time. How long does the average potato live? Can I send one to Wales? Spain? Japan? The possibilities could be endless. Or they could stop at the county border. Who knows.
With Christmas fast approaching, maybe this is the perfect way to reach out to that special someone. A quirky yet useful present; sentimental and edible, perhaps the perfect combination. It could even be anonymous, a secret admiration. Though maybe just send the one at first, otherwise things could get a little strange. Just imagine the look on your loved one’s face when they go to collect their post and discover a potato complimenting them on their stash or ability to see-off a VK. Simply magical.
Since writing my first paragraph, I have in fact used the service to send a potato. The reaction was extremely disappointing (“Why the fuck have you sent me a potato? You are so weird”) but hey they’re called exes for a reason. The potato itself was rather successful. The message (you’re spud-tacular) was written on with marker pen but remained legible even when the potato was so mouldy it was probably sentient. It arrived whole, which is always a bonus, and in a fairly pretty box. Recipient aside, I’d give potato sending a solid 8/10; just ensure your intended is worth such a thoughtful gift.