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Trends I Hate – Lime Green

Impracticality – 1/5
Unsightliness – 4/5
Suitablility – 2/5

Look, I love a bright neon shade as much as the next girl, but I much prefer it when that neon shade is not assaulting my eyes with how bright it is. Neon green is apparently this season’s go-to shade, and I am not here for it. I went out the other day for some retail therapy, and instead came back with my eyes watering because of the offensively bright matching displays in most of the clothing shops. I am putting my foot down. Lime green is one of the nastiest shades of green, and whilst I will admit that it can look passable when paired with black, apparently bright white is more in this season, which honestly is the worst. I’m also really not here for the all-lime-green-matching-everything vibe that retailers are currently putting down. That being said, if you’re someone who has a medium-to-dark skin tone, lime green can look absolutely incredible on you, but as a milk-bottle white girl myself, lime green makes me look like a warning sign. I could make rock it as a very small element of a plaid pattern, maybe as element of an eye makeup look, potentially as a shoe if I’m feeling adventurous, but apart from that lime green and I will never be best buds. It’s just too bright and yellow-tinged to entice me, and honestly seeing it everywhere is really putting me off going into shops, which is excellent for my bank balance but not so good for my wardrobe. I hold out hope for spring, and the return of more muted, pastel shades once more.

Trends I Hate – Vinyl Makeup

Impracticality – 5/5
Unsightliness – 3/5
Suitablility – 2/5

So-called ‘vinyl’ makeup hit the runways this year, with models displaying their glossy eyelids, super-sheen cheekbones and high-shine lips, and there have been multiple different beauty articles detailing how exactly one should style these trends. Well, I’m saying it – one should never style these trends. First of all, it’s all well and good seeing a makeup trend on a model who is posing for a static image, but trying that trend out for yourself is going to be very different. Also, has everyone forgotten the very thing that plagued us back in the 2000s, when glossy lips were all the rage? If getting your hair stuck to your mouth was bad, imagine getting you hair stuck to your entire face – ew. Plus, the models who showcased this look have a whole host of top makeup artists whose job is to make them look good – us plebs who do our own makeup do not have that luxury, meaning the probability of looking like an over-glazed doughnut rather than a supermodel is pretty darn high.
Finally, let’s talk about getting it off – you think scraping glitter off your face after a night out is bad, imagine smearing what is essentially coloured Vaseline all over your face for thirty minutes in an attempt to remove it. Overall, I think the vinyl makeup trend is one that looks pretty cool, but just like many, many other makeup trends, it’s better in theory than in practise. If you really want to attempt this trend, start small (possibly with just a simple eye look rather than the whole eyes, lips and cheeks hog) and definitely wear your hair up in order to avoid flyaways getting stuck to you all night.