fitness and wellbeing

Self Care Supplies: Creative Breaks

For me, revision self care is always about being able to take breaks when I need them. I find it impossible to concentrate if my head’s not in gear, so I tend to take breaks when I feel I need them. This can vary from day to day, depending on what I’m studying, or just how I’m feeling. When I take breaks I either like to do a little exercise whilst listening to one of my favourite podcasts (I personally recommend Oh No, Ross and Carrie! for people like me who love finding out about fringe science, cults, and the paranormal), paint my nails, do a facemask or play the ukulele.

After I’ve taken a little me time, I always feel more positive about revision,

Taking the time to do something for me (like doing a facemask) helps me feel relaxed, and when I’m chilled out rather than stressed because it feels like my revision is going nowhere, it helps me see things in perspective.
After I’ve taken a little me time, I always feel more positive about revision, and find it easier to get stuck in. Mid-revision pampering can also help – I keep a tube of hand cream on my desk so I can keep my hands soft and lovely.
Getting up and moving or doing something creative like playing the ukulele also helps take my mind off things, but rather than just de-stressing it actually helps me with inspiration. If I’m ever really stuck on an essay doing some squats or learning a new song nearly always helps me to have a breakthrough. Also, if I ever need to edit an essay but I can’t work out where to start, I find it’s far easier to come back to an essay and read it with fresh eyes after having a little jam to George Ezra or doing some crunches whilst learning about why I really, really don’t want to join Scientology.

Top Tips for Creating the Perfect Tinder Profile

Tinder is a dry, flammable material, often being wood or paper, used for lighting a fire. Or, in our current non-caveman days of matches and gas fireplaces, an app primarily used by our age group to meet people, go on dates, and receive cringe-inducing chat up lines without the embarrassment of that whole real life thing getting in the way.

If you’re looking for long-term lovin’ or just a cheeky fling then I reckon Tinder, nowadays, is one of the best places to find that. Who needs the outdoors when you can plan six dates in a week from the comfort of your own cosy bed? A girl’s got to eat, right? I’m not having pasta and grated cheese for the third night in a row. Time to find myself a date.

Step 1: The pictures

Like in that aforementioned real life thing, people tend to judge looks pretty harshly. I’ve found Exeter though, on the whole, to be pretty open and not as unforgiving on looks as the blond-gym-girl-stereotype may have once suggested. If love at first sight is what you’re after, choose a great pic of yourself. Helpfully, you can choose up to six photos from camera roll, Facebook or Instagram to show off your best side. Pick carefully, it’s a cut-throat world.

the photographs are ranked of higher importance than your witty banter

It may be analysed as a little creepy if you’re on your own in every single one: Why don’t you have any friends? Similarly, don’t only have full squad pics as people looking through your profile won’t know which one you are. I, personally, would go with a solid solo selfie first, ensuring essential contouring is on point. The first picture is that tricky one that establishes whether the swiper wants to see more of you or not, so make it a banger – you’ll have time to demonstrate your awesome personality later, despite this being (for me) the most important part. But alas, Tinder is not so, and the photographs are ranked of higher importance than your witty banter. Next, maybe choose a couple of pictures with one or two different friends pre-sesh, chilling at the park, playing pranks in your student house (I’m so fun) and finally a big group photo to show that yes, I do in fact have a large group of people who find me tolerable. So you should too, dear swiper.

Step 2: The radius

No swipers will be able to see how wide you cast your net for those plenty of fish left wandering aimlessly in the sea, but the more desperate you are, the bigger your search must be. When using Tinder, I set it only to within a few miles of Exeter so mostly students like myself would appear on my screen.

THE MORE DESPERATE YOU ARE, THE BIGGER YOUR SEARCH MUST BE

However, if you’re willing to travel to, say, Bristol or even *shudder* Plymouth then that’s possible too. If you’re really desperate, 160 kilometers is the furthest distance one can search in (still waiting for Tinder Global) without paying for the premium Tinder Plus service which actually has some pretty cool benefits – like re-winding your last swipe (DEFINITELY needed), and skipping the queue so you’re the top profile in your area. And it’s not even that expensive. But do you really want to be the kind of person who pays for Tinder?

Step 3: The bio

I find the bio the most important part of the Tinder world. It’s the first place you can reveal your personality to the potential swiper. I’ve noticed some common themes amongst users that I would advise against. I probably wouldn’t swipe right for you if your bio is just aubergine and peach emojis as, to be honest, I’m looking to date, not for casual sex. But hey, they might be into that. If that’s you, that’s you. Own it.

I WON’T SWIPE RIGHT IF YOUR BIO IS JUST AUBERGINE EMOJIS

Equally, “Not really sure what to write here” is boring and unimaginative – I am the type who thrives off creativity, so a massive bucket of soz, but you’re not the one for me. Think of something funny that’ll hook your swiper’s interest, or even just list your hobbies, taste in music, or favourite film. Be yourself.

Step 4: The first encounter and having good chat

When I used Tinder, there seem to be two kinds of chat up line: the cheesy one-liner/sexual innuendo/straight up asking for sex, or the simple ‘hey’. The latter conversation will go as follows. “Hey”. “Hey”. “How are you?” “Good, you?” “I’m good too”. To avoid this, think of a question to make the swiper (who has already found you attractive, by the way, go you) think and stay interested.

Disclaimer: chatting on the app may result in awkward bumping into in Unit 1’s smoking area.

Alternatively, some chat up lines are hilarious, and if done correctly without insensitivity or overpowering, disturbing sexual invites (or grammatical mistakes, instant no) you may bag yourself a cheeky reply, culminating in a witty tennis match of puns and funs. If you’ve met someone you get along with via instant message, chances are you’ll get along with them even better in real life. Disclaimer: chatting on the app may result in awkward bumping into in Unit 1’s smoking area. Deal with this as you best see fit.

And there you have it: You’ve bagged yourself a date with a fairly attractive human who’s not too cringe-inducing, likes hockey like you do, and saw the same gig as you in first year. My work here is done, the swiper has been snaffled in my rabbit snare-net-hook like the analogy confused pro-fisherwoman I am.

Growing by shrinking: the beauty of minimalism

We live in a consumer-driven society with a rapid cyclic need to constantly upgrade our stuff and ourselves, and with the new year behind us, gyms are packed and our days start with a new sense of desire to become better versions of ourselves. But inevitably, we fall into our old ways within weeks, if not days. But what if there was a way to create deep-rooted change that will actually make a profound difference in our lives?

That’s where minimalism comes in. This concept is often associated with a hippie sort of lifestyle; one where you may be deprived of the luxuries we find comfort in. But what is un-noted are the simple steps and the immense benefits that come with living a minimalistic lifestyle. So what exactly is minimalism?

minimalism is a lifestyle meant to combat our cultural norm of constantly buying stuff

Minimalism is basically a synonym for simpler living. Every day, we are consumed with hundreds, if not thousands of advertisements for the next best iPhone, new clothes, and luxury vehicles. Our society has become reliant upon buying and keeping up with the latest trends; a cycle that is never ending. As we become more blind to this everlasting chase of having more “things” than our neighbours, we are attempting to fill the voids in ourselves with more stuff.

Minimalism may seem like a lifestyle in which one owns the bare necessities and might live in a tiny home. If this is something you want to do in life, then pursue it. In actuality however, minimalism is a philosophy in which we live a life not dominated by convenience and the need to buy and consume all that we can.

we are attempting to fill the voids in ourselves with more stuff

I will admit it seems insane to me to have to give up the luxury of convenience, but after seeing amazing stories such as Lauren Singer going zero waste in her life and The Minimalists Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, I knew living a more minimalistic life rather than a consumerist life was for me – and I’m merely one foot in the door…

For me, minimalism started because of environmentalism, but minimalism is a lifestyle meant to combat our cultural norm of constantly buying stuff. Stuff we cling to for reasons we don’t know. It can help us declutter our lives and free up space in our lives both physically and mentally.

Asking yourself the question, “does this add value to my life?” makes us think about what we truly need and what we do not.

This lifestyle isn’t saying to get rid of everything you have or to abandon the material objects that define you, but to ensure what you own becomes a part of your life and not meaningless objects just bought out of impulse or held onto because you didn’t know what to do with it.

Living minimalistically means maximizing life by simplifying it, rather than making it more complex and cumbersome in order to fulfill our lives.

does this item bring value to my life?

This leads to the first steps of living a minimalistic lifestyle:

Get rid of non-valuable possessions

Though minimalism isn’t all about getting rid of physical items, it is an important aspect. The main focal point of this aspect of minimalism is the question: Does this item bring value to my life? If so, keep it. If not, toss it or donate it. If you have trouble with this concept, a common practice in beginner minimalism is to place these items into a box and store the box away into a closet or other space. If you don’t find a need for these items within 30 days, it’s okay to throw them out.

Condense your wardrobe

Going along with ridding ourselves of useless possessions, one main source of being overly materialistic is in our closets. Look in your closet, and you will probably be able to pick out which items of clothing you love to wear and feel good in. Now take a step back. These items most likely take up a smaller portion of your closet than you thought. Getting rid of and donating clothes we don’t find ourselves wearing often, as well as duplicate items, allows us to focus on the items we find value in. One sweater that you love is far more useful than five similar sweaters you never wear. For more serious minimalists, you can try Project 333, a challenge that invites you to only dress with 33 items, including shoes and jewelry, for 3 months.

Be mindful of your purchases

Another large contributor to our reliance on materialistic items is the immense shopping industry. The thousands of advertisements we unconsciously experience each day forces us to create a false sense of need for things that do not bring a profound amount of value to our lives. This ideology also results in other harmful practices such as the Fast Fashion Industry and Slave Labor. As you make a purchase, question if the item is going to make you happier for the next month, or the next few years. If the item is useful and will bring value to your life, buy it. If it will end up sitting on a shelf or stuffed into the back of your closet, pass on it. Just by using this simple mindset, your ability to save money will be immensely increased.

While we rid ourselves of useless physical items, we can make room for relationships, experiences and self-worth that add profound value to our lives

Just by practicing these three simple concepts, your life can be opened up to a new sense of mindfulness, productivity and organisation. Though these ideas are useful for living a clutter-free life, the benefits go further; it allows us to live free from often troubling concerns such as stress, overwhelm and financial burdens. While we rid ourselves of useless physical items, we can make room for relationships, experiences and self-worth that add profound value to our lives. Though it may sound like a radical idea, living a minimalistic lifestyle is an attainable goal and one that has the potential to provide profound benefits. For more information on Minimalism, check out the film Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things, created by Joshua Fields and Ryan Nicodemus.

Interviewing Exeter’s secret sex blogger

hat made you decide to start your blog, ‘Sex and the Exeter Girl’?

I used to be the biggest prude about sex. I remember seeing a diagram of an uncircumcised penis in Sixth Form – it made me scream and fall off my chair. For me, sex has always been a scary topic. I’m not sure why – might have something to do with going to an all girls’ school and having minimal male contact!

the blog is my way of seeing the funny side to sex – it makes it less of a big deal

Two years ago I lost my virginity, but my boyfriend and I broke up soon after (he didn’t ejaculate and evacuate, don’t worry!). Then last year I was practically celibate – I didn’t have sex all year, but I did sexual things. It was around this time that I realised how much I enjoy talking about sexual stuff – even though I was crap at blowjobs, the fact I accidentally bit a guy’s penis made a hilarious story over the breakfast table!

Then this year I decided I wanted to have sex, and I thought the way to make that less scary would be to write all about it. In painstaking detail. So the blog is my way of seeing the funny side to sex – it makes it less of a big deal.

Slut-shaming can be a huge issue for female students when it comes to the subject of one night stands or “sleeping around”. Have you ever felt judged by your peers or friends? What do you think can be done to tackle such negative attitudes towards female sexuality?

I think I’m lucky because my housemates have never judged me for sleeping around (minus that one time I went straight from a one night stand to a seminar without showering). As one of my mates says, “this is what our twenties are for.”

I think the judgement comes more from myself. I am a feminist and I’d always tell my friends to have sex with whoever they want, whenever they want. But I set myself completely different rules. I’ve had casual sex a few times and I felt a bit dutty and upset afterwards. But I know that that’s ridiculous, since girls should be able to have as much sex as they want!

“this is what our twenties are for.”

I think the negative attitudes often stem from girls bitching about each other. We have to call this out when we see it. When your mates are slutshaming, it subconsciously makes you feel it’s not OK to enjoy sex with strangers. And that’s ridiculous.

There are often misconceptions about sex based on experiences of sex education at school. Do you think the education you received adequately prepared you for sex and relationships now that you’re older?

Absolutely not. Up until I was 18 I thought you had to be on your period to get pregnant. Plus they taught us about condoms back in Year Nine. Where was the refresher course in Sixth Form?

Most of my proper sex ed came from rumours from girls who were more sexually experienced. I remember being in Year 10 and all of us were gathered around this girl who was telling us about losing her virginity. It was the scariest lunchtime of my life – she went into graphic detail about cherries and how they pop and there’s blood everywhere… It was really grim, and (as it turns out) not technically true. Not everyone does bleed their first time. Also I feel that a lot of the things we were told were just blatant lies.

We were told that we should never use lube because it destroys condoms. That’s just a big fat lie! Water-based lubes are fine, and they make sex way more fun.

Let’s talk Tinder. The app has become an increasingly fundamental way for students to meet other singles, whether it be for a casual hook-up or a serious date. Have you found Tinder to be a successful dating method?

I have only ever had one Tinder date, and it was really fun. Unfortunately, I went into the whole thing thinking it was a proper date. And I started to like him, too – he had a Devon accent and said he loved Taylor Swift aka the dream.

But he thought it was just a casual hook-up thing. So for our next ‘date’ he suggested pizza and a movie. I got all excited, thinking he was taking me to the Firehouse, then he messaged me saying “No, I thought we could order in :p”. Yeah, he used the ‘:p’ face, so I should have known we were doomed from the start. He then went on to say it wasn’t a date and was “just hanging out”.

I think Tinder is a great way to meet people and to have fun. I know people who use it purely for sex – they sext over the app, send booty texts and eventually hook up. But then my sister met her long-term boyfriend on the app, too. I think it’s more of an app for hooking up, but there are exceptions who are looking for a relationship out of it.

You’ve also written openly about your experiences with cystitis. Many students have experience of suffering from STIs and UTIs, but often feel embarrassed to talk about it. How would you encourage other students to feel confident talking about such issues?

I think cystitis is one of those things you can talk about quite openly and people won’t be too grossed out. Although it is embarrassing having to tell your parents you have a UTI that most people get from too much/rough sex. STIs are another story. I think they are way more stigmatised – if you admit you’ve had a STI during ‘Never Have I Ever’ then the room erupts into questions, and you’ll feel pretty judged!

With STIs and UTIs it’s important to remember that they don’t define you

I think students have to chat about it more openly, so it doesn’t become such a big deal. Like how mental health has become way less stigmatised in recent years because people are more open to admit to their mates when they’re struggling. With STIs and UTIs it’s important to remember that they don’t define you. It’s just an infection that will clear. It has no bearing on who you are as a person.

Masturbation is another subject that many girls feel embarrassed about. What are your thoughts on masturbation, porn and even sex toys? What advice would you give to a student who feels ashamed about masturbating?

I started masturbating when I was 15 and, at the time, I was pretty religious and thought it was a sin. But as I’ve grown older I’ve realised it’s completely natural. If you know you can do something that will give you pleasure, why wouldn’t you do it?! Plus it’s important to know what you like. I’ve been with guys before who have been clueless down there – I’ve had to show them how it’s done, like an interactive sat nav. If you know what you like then you can avoid awkward moments.

If you know you can do something that will give you pleasure, why wouldn’t you do it?!

It annoys me that there is a stigma around female masturbation. In Year 8 all the boys at the back of the bus would openly talk about wanking, whereas girls would feel too embarrassed to chat about it. I think it’s really sad young girls feel ashamed to talk about what they like!

Porn is a tricky one. It does make me feel uncomfortable and I am quite selective in what type of porn I will watch – if the entire focus is on the man’s pleasure, then I’m not down for that. I don’t really watch porn anymore because I’m in a relationship – but when I was single I’d watch it because I didn’t have anything to fantasise about. That said, I’m a fan of vibrators – so much so that my mates bought me one for my birthday last year! Best present ever. Only downside is I never know where to store it when I’m at home – I would be mortified if my parents found it!

The Importance of Body Positivity in 2017

Amongst the frenzy of social media, magazines, television, and the increasing emergence of the Kylie Jenners of the world, it’s often hard to forget that the “perfect” bodies we’re exposed to everyday don’t reflect reality (Black Mirror anyone?). Yet there are exceptions to the rule; brands like Aerie Real are breaking with marketing traditions by featuring unphotoshopped models, and bloggers such as @bodyposipanda are subverting the idealistic nature of social media, by challenging the way society continually critiques our “imperfections”, alongside the sound advice: “don’t sacrifice a healthy mind in the pursuit of a healthy body”. Lifestyle writer Char Srahan investigates the uprising of body positivity.

A growing focus on body positivity is important, especially so in a high-pressured university environment (especially one that unofficially generates at least 81% of Nike’s annual revenue – the sea of skin-tight leggings we must all wade through every day does little for one’s hyperconsciousness of lumps and bumps). We need body positivity more than ever, and luckily, the movement is gaining traction.

WE NEED BODY POSITIVITY MORE THAN EVER

In 2015, the Girl Guiding Association began to bolster power and potential over flaws with the introduction of the ‘Free Being Me’ Girlguiding badge, a new addition to aging badges such as cooking and circus skills. For girls aged 7-14 in Brownies and Girl Guides alike, girls celebrated their individuality and to swipe the badge, had to demonstrate body confidence and improved self-esteem; a stellar move towards spreading the body positive message to impressionable youngsters.

Sport England too were irked by the fact that 75% of women claimed they were too inhibited by a fear of being judged on their appearance or ability to engage in sport – one of most the most liberating practices for women and their bodies. Cue #ThisGirlCan, a nationwide campaign to get women and girls moving whilst shaking off the distorted notion that only the most toned of us may exercise. The flagship film has now been viewed by over 13 million women and the hashtags multiply by the second, now taking precedence as a buzzword on social media. Thanks to small steps, showing off the “undesirable” parts of our bodies is becoming less of anathema. Plugging the diversity of women’s bodies is bringing about acceptance and strength, and long may it continue.

WE DO NOT NEED TO BE PITTED AGAINST EACH OTHER

The Women’s March showed us that women can rally together, and now is the time to put that prowess to use. Constant comparison to strangers on social networks, silicone-saturated celebrities and people pushing the boundaries of Photoshop becomes insidious, but making small changes to our individual and national psyche can make all the difference: stop engaging in ‘fat talk’, claiming that “you know you shouldn’t” when biscuits are passed round, shooting down compliments, or kneading your thighs in changing rooms. Instead, positive affirmations must come into force.

Before you slate your body, ask: “Would I say that to my best friend?”; buy new clothes (Depop and eBay are your go-to as students) if you’re still holding out hope for fitting into year-11 jeans; move on and become content with yourself. Plough the energy you’ve spent worrying about your image, calories or weight into others, and into becoming more self-compassionate.

WOMEN CAN RALLY TOGETHER

We do not need to be pitted against each other: we need to advocate together! Plus-size model, Ashley Graham, who is taking the media by storm, says that 2017 is about “boldness, excitement and confidence”.

This is the year to come to terms with the fact that happiness is not size specific and to reject the bombardment of one thin, white, non-disabled body littering the media. It’s unrepresentative and well due its demise.

Why We Should Be Celebrating Galentine’s Day Instead

More rom-coms are beginning to crop up in the Netflix ‘recently added’ section; the radio stations are beginning to play more love songs; This Morning’s real life segments are becoming increasingly romance related. Yes, that’s right, Valentine’s Day is here. Singletons all over the world have been preparing themselves for the annual bombardment of images and stories of idealised, fairy tale love. You’re not even safe on the weekly food shop; supermarkets tapered with oversized red hearts, crammed full of roses, cuddly toys and heart shaped chocolates to buy for “that special someone”. But if you don’t have that ‘special someone’ then Valentine’s Day can be a pretty lonely holiday.

It makes us all get very introspective doesn’t it? Wondering why exactly we don’t have someone to share the day with or buy us an oversized, stuffed teddy bear like Emily from your A Level biology class’ boyfriend bought her? (We know because she uploaded it to Instagram, obviously). Is there something wrong with us? So we turn to our favourite rom-coms to tell us where we’re going wrong, but they all follow near enough the same plot. Single girl finds gorgeous boyfriend and it is only then that she experiences true happiness. Even if she thought she was happy before, well apparently she wasn’t. So this becomes our understanding of what love is.

Boys are rarely at the centre of a misfit finding love rom-com plot and if they are the film is considered ‘feminist’ rather than just a ‘normal’ exploration of love

Personally, I feel it’s impossible to ignore gender in this. Boys are rarely at the centre of a misfit finding love rom-com plot and if they are the film is considered ‘feminist’ rather than just a ‘normal’ exploration of love. Women especially are taught to define their sense of self-worth based on how successful they’ve been in securing a romantic partner and this is exacerbated by Valentine’s Day.

Cultural theorist Angela McRobbie seems to agree with me offering a theory called ‘The Code of Romantic Individualism’. Her theory essentially argues that due to various media influences the main object of a young girl’s life is to get and keep a boyfriend. To do so she sacrifices all other personal relationships and focuses on said boyfriend, isolating herself and becoming an individual.

When my friends and I first came across this theory last year in our A-Level Sociology class it really resonated with us. On reflection, many of us had put our female friendships on the back-burner in order to focus our attention on our love lives. Instead of taking pride in our work achievements or spending time with one another, we were feeling sad around February 14^th because someone didn’t fancy us.

love comes in countless shapes and sizes and no one form should be valued higher than the other

I don’t want to come across as bitter; I understand that romantic relationships when you find them can be a healthy source of comfort and companionship and love truly is a wonderful and beautiful thing and by all means it should be openly celebrated and enjoyed. Nor do I want to shame women who do find fulfilment from their relationship, that doesn’t make you any less strong or powerful… but love comes in countless shapes and sizes and no one form should be valued higher than the other. The mainstream media should positively explore a wider range of experiences concerning love: homosexuality, polyamory, asexuality and just feeling plain old happy being single for the time being. All of these experiences are valid and should be portrayed as equally worthy of celebration.

Perhaps the most important shape love comes in is self-love. An important part of that for girls is looking to the women who made you the incredible woman you are. Whether it’s the ladies you’ve known since you were in nappies, girls you met at school or sixth form, the girls you met at university, your mum, your sister, your aunties, your cousins – this year set aside what you’re doing for one day and spend time in each other’s company.

In a world where women are increasingly pitted against one another and encouraged to compete for men’s affections, stand up and rebel; celebrate your girl power

Which brings us to Galentine’s Day: “What’s Galentine’s Day?! Oh it’s only the best day of the year”. For those of you who haven’t binge watched Parks and Recreation, Galentine’s Day was created by superwoman Leslie Knope and is celebrated on February 13^th. It’s a day for “ladies celebrating ladies”. So get all your girls together, share old stories, reminisce on old crushes, drink too much wine, dance around to the Spice Girls and take some killer group selfies. Whatever you do, just soak up the happiness of the moment and in that time you spend together, don’t worry or mope about the boyfriend or girlfriend that you have or haven’t got. Let it remind you that you and your friends are strong, independent women who don’t need a lover to make them whole.

In a world where women are increasingly pitted against one another and encouraged to compete for men’s affections, stand up and rebel; celebrate your girl power! And remember: “ovaries before brovaries”.

What the hell is hygge?

Denmark — the land of Lego, pastries and Carlsberg — perhaps doesn’t stand out as the most exciting and innovative of countries. But there’s a new export from the colourful streets of Copenhagen, a Viking invader which has conquered our design stores and filled our boutiques, and its name is ‘hygge’.

IT’S BEST UNDERSTOOD
AS A WAY OF LIFE

That’s “hoo-guh”, to you and me, and in Britain it’s come to represent the Scandinavian concept of cosiness. It became quite the trend in 2016, taking over the bookshelves of middle-class mums, and finishing as runner-up in a handful of ‘word of the year’ contests (the dying breaths of the dictionary industry).

So, curious about this foreign concept (apparently I need to be afraid of migrants), I took to the internet to find out what it actually means.

Due to its abstract nature, it’s pretty hard to put a finger on what hygge actually is, but a quick scroll through Pinterest reveals the basic essentials — the starter pack of Scandi serenity, if you will: candles, oversized jumpers and a comfy pair of socks are all essential. The closest we Brits have is the idea of “a nice cup of tea” — which can represent anything from a simple brew to a chance to take a break from the stresses and strains of modern life.

A ‘wintery’ feeling is clearly the key, and no wonder, considering that hygge has its roots in the dark, dark north. With an average temperature of precisely 0 degrees celsius in Copenhagen this month, there’s no wonder they take the time to relax and look after each other. After all, a Danish person would tell you that it’s actually best understood as a ‘way of life’: a psychological state of peace which stresses the importance of enjoying life’s simple pleasures: friends, family and comfort.

It’s at the heart of Scandi interior design, too: think natural woollen rugs, cushioned window seats, and minimalist wooden furniture. Apparently warm, dimly-lit lamps should also be dotted about the room too, for a comforting candle-like glow. The goal is to create the idea of a ‘home, sweet home’.

It’s easy to get involved, too. Next time there’s a storm outside and your coursework is getting you down, just turn your phone off, find a roaring fire (or just imagine one) and unwind. It doesn’t have to be indoors either: try a walk in the woods, surrounded by birdsong — like a modern-day Peter Rabbit. I promise you there’s nothing better than a weekend away in a cottage in Cornwall to take a break from the treadmill of university life, surrounded by friends and the comforting warmth of a log fire. I didn’t realise it at the time, but this is the hygge dream.

In short, there’s a reason our northern neighbours consistently rank as some of the happiest people in the world. Admittedly, Hamlet thought that “something is rotten in this state of Denmark”, but perhaps he just needed a little hygge in his life.

New Year’s Resolutions: Just another capitalist guilt trip?

This Christmas I was given guilt as a gift but, naturally, with the state of the postal service, it arrived just in time for New Year’s Day. Perfect timing: New Year, new me, right? Bollocks.

I’ve never really understood this perverse annual self-depreciation contest, feeling bad about yourself or your indulgences. We roll off the back of Christmas joy and well-wishing straight into hating ourselves, before even the Yule-tide has come to an end and we miserably rip tinsel off the wall. It’s a time where we decide to break ourselves down into positives and negatives instead of building ourselves up. These usually stem from things that we’ve always been self-conscious about – there’s nothing really novel about New Year’s resolutions – and we usually make the same promises every year. ‘This year will be the one where it all changes’, we tell ourselves, only to feel crushed when we give in and give up, delicately balancing our self-worth on a vain hope.

New Year, new me, right? Bollocks.

Collectively around New Year, we allow ourselves more indulgences to do away with the guilt. We lie to ourselves that we’ll be healthier, we’ll quit smoking, we’ll stop drinking but, as the miserable month of January draws to a close, I wonder how many of us will have persevered with our resolutions?

We roll off the back of Christmas joy and well-wishing straight into hating ourselves

The spirit of New Year is a lie, predicated on our belief that it’s a magical time, that as soon as the clocks strike twelve we’re transformed like Cinderella. Need we recall that, at twelve, Cinderella turns from a princess to a pauper – not the other way round. I hate to break it to you, dear readers, but you probably won’t do all the things you promised yourself you would.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely advocate for self-care and I definitely believe that making informed choices and setting goals are positive things. You want to lose weight? I say ‘go you!’ You want to quit smoking? I say ‘that’s incredible, I’m so proud’. But hearing the words ‘New Year, new me’ brings with it a sigh.

The change has to come from you: it has no timer and no calendar.

There’s a marked difference between making an informed choice and genuinely wanting to be better or change, and making a resolution for the sake of New Year. The change has to come from you: it has no timer and no calendar. There’s no magical best-before date for the things you don’t like about yourself and if you don’t really want to change deep down then a superficial and vain resolution is unlikely to change that.

Take me last year. I made so many promises because I felt rubbish about myself, my body, my lifestyle. I decided to make all the cliche changes to my life: I joined the gym, I bought fancy exercise clothes to motivate myself, I bought a lunchbox so I could bring healthy sandwiches to campus. Do you see the common denominator?

You got it! It’s capitalism. I bought all these things and spent all this money to make myself feel like I was making a change. But really all I was buying into was the consumerist milieu of, what I’m going to call, resolution-profiteering. It’s no surprise that gyms advertise around this time with free sign ups and trials, and it’s neither a shock to me that exercise clothes are on sale. Companies know that, as the Christmas season comes to an end, there’s a perfect balance of the ‘treat yourself’ mentality that comes with Christmas cash and resolutions that point customers towards certain products. They make millions off selling us back our own self-hatred by convincing us that the way to change and become better is to spend money. I, for one, don’t want to buy into that. I don’t want to be manipulated by money and good advertising.

They make millions off selling us back our own self-hatred by convincing us that the way to change and become better is to spend money

So, I’m at a loss. People keep asking what my resolutions are and I seem so pious when I tell them I think it’s stupid, kind of like the New Year version of the Grinch. My not-making-resolutions makes other people feel bad, as if I think I’m superior, like there’s nothing I could change about myself. But that’s not it, I’m just convinced that the construction of resolutions sets us up to fail.

Live and let live, make your resolutions, but don’t come crying to me when you’ve got no money, and no motivation left to go to the gym.

I’ve decided, therefore, that I will try to make resolutions that mean something; I will thank people more often and stop being sorry all the time.

I will remind my friends and family that I think they’re great more often, I will try to practise self-care, take time out to think about myself and, last but not least, I will promise you, readers, that I will try to write more positive articles, rather than hating everything like my articles often point to.

Live and let live, make your resolutions, but don’t come crying to me when you’ve got no money, and no motivation left to go to the gym.

Planners to help you get your life together in 2017

I love lists, I make lists of lists and I like to write my lists in a planner. So here is a list of planners to help you get your shit together in 2017, because let’s be honest, 2^nd term is hard and we need all the help we can get.

The Simple Option: £4

Okay so I stole this idea from my boyfriend, but hanging up a Wilko’s whiteboard is an easy way to plan and list your heart out. You can separate it into a grid if you are feeling deft with a pen, use different colours or simply just write a list. Then enjoy the satisfaction of rubbing off each item on the list as you complete it.

The Fashion Conscious: £8

Not just good for slip dresses and velvet skirts, Urban Outfitters have a pretty nice range of stationery. This white marble option, for example, is both practical and on point with the marble trend. I also like the section for you to write in your day’s objectives, but you do have to write in the dates.

The Instagram Worthy: £40

An expensive option at £40 but the most gorgeous of the options. It also promises the most benefits. On the website it claims to “Train your mind to always look at the positive side of things”, “learn to master the art of resilience” and “set goals that will maximise your happiness level”. The planner comes in a range of beautiful geometric designs and is packaged with rose gold pens and 8 printables for your wall. It is basically everything you need to post an Instagram worthy #newyearnewme photo.

The Cute Option 1/2: £9.80/£12

I couldn’t write an article about planners without mentioning the stationary king, Paperchase. You can’t go wrong really (plus they have 10% student discount). These are just two of a swathe of options, but they do keep with the pastel/marble/motivational quote trend.

The Classic Option: £20

Keep it organised like Jane in 27 Dresses with a Filofax. This black leather option will keep your notes, events and life in perfect order. The added benefit of a Filofax is that you can simply add in more pages if you need more space. Not the prettiest option, but tried and tested.

The Artsy Option: £5

This is a calendar rather than a planner, but the wall is the best place to put art anyway. Featuring photos from the Victoria and Albert collection, with a focus on the early pioneers of Photography, it is sure to increase your artist cred.

The Cosmopolitan Option: £24.95

Yes I know Exeter isn’t exactly cosmopolitan, but Liberty is a symbol of London luxury. All of their products are picked carefully so you know that every one of them will be gorgeous. This is just one of many gorgeous planners they sell. Inside is a simple design of a column for each day, but the cover (a design from US based Moglea) is very much an urban statement piece.

The Rainbow Option: £31.99

A fun option from the masters of notebooks, Moleskine. Each month is a different coloured notebook, which makes them lighter and easier to carry around. They all come in a box that “protects, organizes, and preserves”. A pricier option, but Moleskine notebooks are very good quality so for 12 this is pretty worth it.

Reality Check: New You Won’t Be Perfect

You’re back at the busy gym, with seemingly everyone else at University, and even though you had to wait for each machine you’re pleased you went – you’re going to kick 2017’s butt!

A few days later you wake up and debate staying in bed. You snooze for 10, 15, 30 minutes and then decide it’s too late to go to the gym. You feel sluggish all day.

A couple of weeks later you get on the scales, you haven’t lost the weight you’d been hoping for. You failed. “That’s it, this is hopeless, I’m giving up,” you think. January 20^th and you’ve given up on your new year’s resolution to fit into that little black dress. You feel rubbish about yourself and slip into worse habits: eating more, drinking more and exercising even less.

Does this sound familiar?

Every year, millions of people believe in the possibility of the new year and new beginnings; the opportunity to change their life and achieve the goals they’ve been thinking about since last year. Why are we so unlikely to succeed in achieving our goals?

Personal development author Hal Elrod says we suffer from “rear-view mirror syndrome” in that we are always looking back at our past and this information limits what we believe we can achieve. So if you failed that diet last year, you’re likely to keep looking back on that failure and subconsciously believe you will fail again this year.

HOW YOU RESPOND TO THAT MISTAKE IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHETHER OR NOT YOU WILL SUCCEED

We’ve all heard of ‘SMART’ (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound) goals but we rarely set them for ourselves. Setting yourself up with a huge task such as “no carbs before Marbs” seems daunting and overwhelming. Maybe it seems like the only way you can improve yourself is through a huge change (while actually just being consistent with work outs and a healthy diet would be more successful). Or maybe on January 2^nd you had one potato and now feel like you’ve failed and there’s no point in even trying. This is where perfectionism plays a role in our failure. By thinking that one mistake makes you a failure you are going to feel bad about yourself. But news flash: everyone makes mistakes. How you respond to that mistake is the difference between whether or not you will succeed.

Khloe Kardashian, in her best seller Strong Looks Better Naked says “Perfection is unattainable. Our brains are wired to want more and to never be satisfied”. If we re-think one mistake and recognise it as one mistake and then try to do better, the only way forward is success. Focus on the fact you felt guilty when you missed that work out so you will feel better if you do get out of bed and go.

We should stop making ‘goals’ and start focusing on making ‘systems’, or so argues Scott Adams, author of ‘How to fail at almost everything and still win big’. Adams suggests that by focusing on a repeatable specific habit that you implement in your life that will help you achieve your goal, you are more likely to succeed than focusing on the goal itself. By focusing on a goal you are telling yourself you aren’t good enough yet, that you need to achieve that goal to be happy. On the other hand, by focusing on systems – the thing that you will do repeatedly to achieve that goal, you achieve success every time you do it. The idea of ‘Zero days’ tells us to aim to do something towards that goal, no matter how small, every day. So if your goal is to exercise more or lose weight, doing a minute of star jumps on the day when you’ve slept in, or going for a quick run around the block is better than doing nothing – it fills you with a sense of accomplishment and is more likely to contribute towards achieving that goal.

Focus on the fact you felt guilty when you missed that work out so you will feel better if you do get out of bed and go

Some final tips for success:

Celebrate the mini-successes, when the too-snug jeans from before Christmas start to fit better or someone compliments the way that new dress looks on you.
Think more glass half-full – “I’ve come such a long way, I’ve been to the gym three times this week and I feel great”.
Be self-compassionate, look in the mirror and tell yourself three things you love – don’t punish yourself for those mistakes.
Remember that this is a journey and miracles don’t happen overnight.
You don’t need to be perfect to be happy.